Tuesday, December 04, 2007


When I was a kid I dreamed of aliens landing on our planet and making contact. I also believed that it would change humanity. Then I realised that bills, mortgage, career and women sprang to mind. Now I've got used to those things being more or less a neccesity in life I ponder yet again about life on another planet. So do scientists. Amusingly I watched a documentary justifying the need to send people to Mars. Mars. Once the confident source of the home world of an alien race hell bent on the destruction of earth...that is until a little bit of tin landed on the surface of the red planet and concluded that it was nothing more than a very cold and barren planet with little atmosphere.

The evidence is clear. There is no life on Mars. But scientists want to prove that life did exist once upon a time. Why bother? If there was any then it has long since gone. Whilst we consume huge amounts of natural resource not to mention the economical dent on tax payers money on pursuing something that will reveal or not reveal themselves to us, shouldn't we be taking care of our home? Have we forgotten that our planet needs looking after like a child does?

Just reading today about the amount of sun lotion spent on in a month should be better used to help reduce our carbon output and to help developing countries do the same too. Why do we persist in chasing something that is nothing more than a remote possibility. Even if we were to find life on another planet. What would it do for us? Would it cure pandemics? Solve world poverty? No. Of course not. We are destined by our very nature to suffer these things due to over population, artificialising medication and manufacture with products not naturally synthesised to help humankind. Just as with any dominant and enlarged entity, humanity will implode and simply disappear for another emerging species to do just the same. Again and again and again. I'm sure this cycle of self destruction will never end. Its just a pattern of life on this planet. Should we fear the end of humankind? I don't think so as I believe we are just a part of a repetitive cycle of a produce of this planet.

Another interesting point make in this documentary was the assumption that carbon and water and amino acids are building blocks for like. Says who? As we may not detect other comibination of chemicals to be catalysts for life, where there are possibly chemicals in existence not on this planet that may interact with traditionally benign earthly chemicals that could create a different kind of life and perhaps on different path of time not familiar to our own.

We really do make too many assumptions to think that we believe what the basic building blocks of life really could be somewhere else.

A rock to us could be a form of life on another planet. But not as we would know it.

TwoDarts, having a tiring day, signing off.

Monday, December 03, 2007

How's your Father?

Has this country gone mad??? Sperm donor pays for child.

A spokesman for Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA) said: "The law says that men donating sperm through licensed fertility clinics are not the legal father of any child born through that donation.

....yet the consequence of a civil marriage breaking down is that the male donor has to pay for the children. Am I missing something here? Isn't that the best excuse ever to get divorced and still have your kids looked after ? By someone who legally isn't entitled to anything other than the payment of the child. How emotionally barren is that ?

My reaction is purely emotional and devoid of the legal authority that exists. Sometimes I wonder where the respect for basic human rights have gone? If the father is emotionally detached from his paternal instincts to donate a "child", why should he be penalised for a marriage breakdown not of his own making ?

Or maybe the very idea of donorship is wrong if this is what the law of the land demands in such a case. Would the consequences be the same for an adopted child? Who would be responsible for the child's well being financially if a same sex partnership fail? or indeed a hetrosexual partnership?

The mechanism for sperm donor's should promote an emotional detachment from a very natural process of giving life for the donor and in this respect the detachment should also apply financially and morally.

My question then is, what has this case done to the numerous donors; out of the sheer selfless act of donating their sperm or egg affected a childless couple some hope of having a family of their own?

Everyone who wishes to have a child of their own but cannot may wish to pursue this avenue, but because the law wishes to make the accountable not accountable and vice versa at times, where is the acceptable middle ground?

The problem is with what marriage means to people these days. Lets not make children an excuse or a reason for our own failures.

Marriage in any sense is a commitment for life just like a child. Why do we persist these days to make it a convience when we find it convinient? and a legal "get out clause" when things get a little rough?

Bring up a child when your ready to bring up a child and not because its a fashionable statement.

Note: By no means do I suggest that this is biased to a gender partner preference. Grow up and remember what it was like to be a child first before you realise how much love you can give them.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007


As some of you know, my opinion of religion can rub certain people up the wrong way. Once upon a time I knew of a lady who had a particulary close association with the guy/gal in the sky who told me that one day I would return to believe in God. It was a casual comment. Yet somehow this stuck in my mind. Every so often I think of what she mean't by that. I was brought up to believe in God and for reasons mention in previous entries I don't. I do however think about what she said. God has a mention in Wikipedia. One line in it says "the source of all moral obligation". Would it be inappropriate to say that individuals are sources of moral obligation? Surely the leaders of our land are obliged to fulfill a moral obligation if there was an alternative arguement. Whatever the arguement, I have discovered a book by Richard Dawkins which seems to provide a solid debate on the issue. I have yet to read it. Scientists continually through their own practice try to dispprove of the notion of a higher being. Could it also be by their own actions that they are by the sum of all their discoveries prove that God does indeed exist but not in the way God is traditionally protrayed? Just for a moment, put on a different hat and perhaps realise that the language that we speak may not always be so accurate to describe a higher being. What if either through ancient text or mathematics we are all describing the same thing? I think that inside our hearts and soul that there is a force that breathes life into every component of everything.....absolutely everything.

Test of Time

Its been a while since I've written something on this blog. A lot of time seems to have passed and yet hardly any time at all. Some of my fellow bloggers have long since left the blogging scene in favour of Facebook.

I too sucumbed to the temptation of Facebook. As it has matured and gone are the people's idea that to be popular is to have a zillion "friends" listed on facebook, its has become quite an important tool for communicating with long lost friends and family or for friends and family that live too far away to be practical for a visit.

Update so far in the world of 2Darts:

Lewis Hamilton didn't win this years grand prix. If he did then the world would truly be a perfect place to live in but alas this isn't so.

Gone is the single life for 2Darts. And I might add I announce this with much celebration. Gone are the hedonistic days, the days of kebabs are but a distant memory. As is the many nights of boozing and shameful behaviour. Yes, I've joined a convent. No. Actually it is the love of a good woman that should me the righteous path.

Has blogging had its day with me? I don't think so.

I've spent the last couple of months catching up with the real world and the real world is full of friends getting married and having babies. Its a joy to hear one friend of mine has recently given birth to a son. And I feel chuffed to bits as she and I grew up in the days of reckless behaviour and to find a real life outside the now senseless partying that once consumed and apparently fulfilled our lives. Everybody moves on. For some it takes a life time and for others it is now. It must be an inbuilt mechanism that tells us when we are ready to do the right thing. Are we pre programmed to follow this path? It seems so when you believe that is the way forward. I used to think that you could predict the future. Cover every eventuality; but even then, something out of the ordinary happens, something you think may never happen and it suddenly does. I guess sometimes we wish to think that our lives are set before us and then........and then.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

A Dark Day for Formula 1 Grand Prix

Am I a McLaren fan? Yes. Do I think Ron Dennis is an honest man? Yes. Do I think the penalty given to the team is unfair? Yes. Do I think the World Motorsport Council has got it wrong? Maybe.

I was shocked to hear amount of the fine imposed on McLaren. Then I found out that the team would lose all its constructors points. Even worse. $100 millon. Will we ever hear about how the WMC came to its conclusion? Probably not. I for one would think that the public need to know about the why's and what, and how's to better understand the judgement. The team by virtue of the huge penalty imposed on them will certainly take away sponsorship for the team. How on earth can they send the most competitive team to the gallows? It is a complex turn of events leading to the risk of undermining the pinacle of motorsport that is F1. What does the FIA now need to do in order to ensure the integrity of the sport. A single engine manufacturer sport? Not likely. F1 allows car manufacturers to advance motor technology and feed their technology to the everyday man. Think BMW with the development of F1 technology into road cars. V10 engines in their M Sport division. Suspension geometry to the masses. Braking technology saving peoples lives. And lets not forget tire technology. Although it is a sport, it is an advancement in motoring technology that benefits all. The last time we had a huge technological leap in transport was through several furious wars. Do we really need to do that? No. Sport provides much the same for improvement and innovation in technology.

Hopefully history will see this as a blip in F1 and not a turning point in the degeneration our approach to what we gain from a very interesting, strategic driven sport.

F1 does not appeal to everyone. And nor is it supposed to. Football, Rugby, Tennis, Basketball to me is akin to Street Fighter, Doom, R-Type (for those old enough to know) and Pac man. A quick fix of competitive sports. F1 is more like Age of Empire and other suitable strategy based games. There is plenty of chess play involved in F1. The subtle psychological battle field played both on and off the arena. Where for the ill informed or uninitiated, its a bunch of fast cars going round and round a circuit. Some may say that the sport has been diluted and that the spectacle of a car bursting into flames was part of the excitement is lost. This isn't a sport of brutality. It is a game of the utmost in professionalism. Of course there are the diva mentalities of the drivers which is part and parcel of the sport.

This years competition and competitiveness of two great drivers in McLaren should not be overshadowed by the spy scandal that looms over what has been so intriguing so far. What F1 has been missing is not the overtaking and sheer speed of old but the rivalry of totally brilliant and engaging driver personalities. Does this sound like a formula for a sporting soap opera? Of course it is. It is very much like a drama unfolding over a year and not like the total orchestrated dominance of one driver and one team that was Ferrari. The FIA listened to the paying public in our outrage of unsporting behaviour withing Ferrari and changed the rules accordingly to provide a fairer racing spectacle. Irvine and Barichello suffered at the hands of a team in love with a driver who although was somewhat of a miracle and a natural successor to Senna, discredited the sport. This recent event is clearly not on the same level. Espionage has been part of the make up of F1. How else would it have worked in the first place?

Another thing to consider is how this has come to be. Well into this years season and some wrong doing was discovered by who else but Ferrari. Miffed at not employing the world champion, although supposedly doing well to poach Raikkonen from McLaren, Ferrari knew from the start of the season that the opportunity to stamp their dominance on the sport was to be an aborted re-birth. Seeing the new talent Hamilton, a loyal servant to McLaren steal away points right from the start, initiated an intensity of suspicion that would accumulate in this terrible mark on the sport. Can I be bold enough to even suggest that Ferrari made a sacrificial lamb of Nigel Stepney. With his knowledge of intent to deliberately entrap McLaren to be a suspect of spying on Ferraris technology and strategy. Would Ferrari be willing to win the title by delibrately framing McLaren to win this years title? As distasteful as it may sound and also as biased as it may sound from me (after all we are all faced with taking sides now), could it be possible that Ferrari would stoop so low to win a title after the embarrassment of Renault winning twice.

On track form would suggest that McLaren had a rubbish time of it for the last two years. They could have done with a helping hand to be so successful this year. But just look at McLaren's conservate strategy for the times they did dominate the sport. Yes, through fairness towards its drivers and compliancy through the regulations and rules put to the sport. Ferrari regularly would push the boundaries of acceptable behaviour ultimately undermining the rules of the game. Some might say that they identified the weaknesses of the rules. Others might say that they took advantage of the bias of the members of the council. Let us be clear that Ferrari have always been close to being the death of F1. It is through their own arrogance that we are in the position that we are. Ever closer to F1 losing its identity and authority in the world of motorsport.

Most of all I feel sorry for Ron Dennis. A man greatly regarded as the most professional team bosses in Formula 1. His reputation more than tarnished. A man who has built career, reputation and "family" on the one thing special to him. You only have to look at how he has shaped the career and future of a young man from child to adulthood. Why? Because he believes. There are those like me who only believe in one thing about Ron Dennis, that he is the most sincerest operator in Formula 1. I hope this judgement will not see out an amazing man's career. The sport needs Ron Dennis. The sport needs McLaren.

Monday, September 10, 2007

The Spanish Inquisition

Speaking to a friend of mine this afternoon he mentioned his trip to the Belgium grand prix. His first trip to see one. A virgin. Good for him I say. I hope to do so one day too. We moved on to the subject of our favorite racing driver Diva, Fernando Alonso. It is absolutely scandalous in my opinion to think that McLaren, a team of great integrity has been already tarred and feathered with allegations of cheating. A couple of weeks ago they were aquitted for involvement in espionage. Ferrari naturally not happy with the outcome were keen to pursue this case. I for one believe that although justice should be served if there was evidence of wrong doing am satisfied by reputation alone of McLaren that no cheating was involved.

So now we turn to recent eveents that once again threaten McLaren's reputation as an honest F1 team. And what better starting point than a communication between the World Champion and the reserve driver. Alonso has never hidden from the fact that he believes the team favours the british driver (Hamilton), because the team is essentially British and that Hamilton has been bred since he was a little acorn (awww) to be "The One". His miserable attempt to sabotage Hamilton's Turkish grand prix was nothing but childish. His arrogance to suggest that any team on the grid would be willing to give him number one status in their team is nothing short of laughable. Sure Spyker would do it......for the money, but for reputation? Not a team like McLaren. Does Lewis Hamilton's performance have something to do with the car? Yes. Favoritism? No. They have a world champion driving for them after all. What would be the better bet at the begining of the season? Alonso of course. But Hamilton is something of a miracle.Ok. Not a miracle, but something unexpected. Jenson Button had and has comparable talent too. McLaren are all about exploiting the natural ability of its drivers. Each driver has his own dedicated engineering team and both have an overall strategist to squeeze the maximum performance from the team as a whole.

Lets not forget Hamilton's proven ability to succeed. McLaren want the constructors title. To do that they need both drivers to excel in every race. Why on earth would they favour one driver to the detriment of the other? They'd want a 1-2 in any combination.

So to the latest. Alonso has been implicated in the scandal. Was there a secretive pact to obtain and use information from Ferrari to gain the upper hand. Maybe. One man's selfish desire to win? With Alonso's recent admission to preferring to land the drivers championship over the constructors title surely alludes to a lack of team spirit and being disassociated with the amibitions of the team. A very disappointing attitude indeed. Would Alonso be content in the dismise to a great team's reputation? Questionable. His ability to publically exercise his lack of loyality to the team that have paid him to work for them is not good. McLaren would be better off trying to poach Button.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

One of Those Days

Waking up to a hangover is never fun. Hangovers are either bad headaches and sore limbs or that fuzzy, still a little pissed feeling. I recall the moment I began stumbling down that boozy road. Bad day at the office and in need of a drink. Seemed like a mate of mine needed one too. So off down the local boozer for beer and a whinge. Fast forward to this morning. Check the phone for evidence of boozy texting or calling. None. Phew! Bruises? Nope. Bank balance? Not sure. Getting too old for that kind of lark? Definitely!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Having something in Common

Whilst watching wife swap and its interesting ability to pitch people together with totally different social extremities noticed the bit with the inevitable boozy party. Posh family against working class "mum" and vice-versa. Once everyone has had a couple of shandies, everyone seems to make a complete twat of them selves on the same level. This also extends to weddings, funerals, birthday's etc. Does booze bring people together onto same level? Seems like it.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Harry Enfield.

What's happened to that genius of a comic. I found this YouTube clip for your amusement.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Scientology....makes yer skin crawl

I've spoken about Scientology previously. This cult, erm religion has caused a lot of controversy.

Whilst basking in the warm of the first proper summers day in good old blighty I mentioned noted that a friend of mine had jokingly inputted Scientology as his religion of choice. More orignal than putting down Satanism. I mean that is sooooo old religion/cult. So we discussed the strangeness of the whole idea behind Scientology let alone the theory about how humans were created from bits of alien flesh fused together by an exploding volcano.

So this morning's hangover cure was a dose of the Panorama programme about Scientology. A friend had recommended that I watch it. After close to thirty minutes of watching the creepy man in black harrassing the poor BBC reporter, I too felt like I was being watched.

Scientology adopt a fair game policy which means tha anyone who actively speaks out against the cult, erm religion will be subjected to intrusive harrassment and targeted for defamation of character or worse public humiliation. Good enough reason not to piss them off I suppose. As I watched more of this it occurred to me that if they are left alone then they pretty much keep themselves to themselves. Am I being a little sympathetic? No, not at all. Give them an inch and they will quite possibly take a mile.

As you know I am not an advocate of religion as I find the whole idea of it segregates people rather than integrates them. Whether Scientology is a religion or a cult, it still amounts to the same thing. Like any young religion, it feels threatened and encourages paranoia within. They film ever encounter with non believers who supposedly give them a hard time. Laughable really. But then you think about the Crusades. What was that all about but to protect the Christian faith. Hindu's and Muslims have fought each other for centuries. Religions mature eventually into peaceful ways of life. There will always be a few nutters who claim to be the protectors of the faith through violence and intimidation. But those are few. Scientology in its infancy just has a lot of them at the moment. Of course I don't blame them for being paranoid. But I do think that they just do not do themselves any favours whatsoever in their agression and verbally threatening manner. What is more useful for them, to coin a phrase from some other loony religion is "to turn the other cheek". It works for a few million of them.

After watching the programme and a couple of other more amateurish anti-Scientology clips, the phone rang. Expecting it to be my parents I was greated by a bloke with a dodgy northern accent. He was calling from Consumer Awareness or something like that. The cynic in me said sales person. It was at the point when he asked for the value of the property that I got a little paranoid. Have those creepy men and women from Scientology tracked me down already? When can I expect posters of me and details of my misdemeanours be put up in shop windows?

Scientology doesn't like being referred to as a cult; its more like a religion. But I'm afraid that it has already reached cult status. Much like Mulder and Scully.
Have you noticed the Scientology symbol? Why on earth is it similar to the Christian symbol of Jesus's crucifiction cross? Not very original is it. Especially for a cult, erm religion that claims to originate from outer space. Where are the UFO's and laser beams?

One last thing. When will they start doing door to door rounds? I don't see my regular Jehovah's gang these days? Where have they gone? What have they done with them? Creepy.....

Monday, July 30, 2007

Frank Butcher Dies

Mike Reid who played Frank Butcher died. Hats off to a fine actor and most remembered for me in Runaround.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Super Heroes

For a while, in the back of my mind I've been thinking of Super Hero names for my friends some of who have been mentioned in my blog. Everyone deserves a super hero name.

  • The Fox
  • Romeo Tony
  • Sambuca Girl aka The Babe aka Maggie
  • Mr Magners
  • Darsh Vader
  • Angelic
  • The Boy (his own contribution)
  • The Leaf
  • The Mother
  • The Dom-inator
  • Fire Fly aka Scoobz
  • Smoke and Mirrors
  • Exxon
  • Hub Cap
  • Freezer Frost
  • Logic
  • The Bull
  • Guiness

I'll think of some more later.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007


I rather foolishly thought about being in Britain and being subjected to torrential rain and widespread flooding wasn't so bad as being hit by hurricanes or unbelievable droughts that have hit parts of the African continent. My neighbour and I spoke briefly yesterday morning about the virtues of living in a first floor flat and how this years flooding of our road was a little more hairy than before. Oh how we laughed.

Then I saw the pictures and film footage of flooding in parts of the country. People have lost their lives. People starving, and people believe it or not are thirsty. All that water and not a drop to drink.

One thing I will say to those Chavvy kids with their Pitbulls letting them crap on pavements and peoples lawns. That'll teach you to think twice about doing that again. Think about every time you've seen a dog, cat, fox, squirrel or person, piss or shit on the pavement or shop enterance or lawn and then think about the fact that the stuff never goes away. Then think about having to wade in knee height water.......hopefully without any cuts or grazes.

The entire public transport system grinds to a halt, people stranded for days in areas they would rather not be without warmth, food or water. Property destroyed. We seem so protected from natural disasters that affect other parts of the world. Its only when it comes/floats to our doorstep that we finally understand what other people have felt.

Is the recent flooding a consequence of mankind? You betcha!

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Being Content

Contentment is something that is easy to come by or very elusive. Some people find contentment in the very simplest of things. Some people find it bettter to create something complex perhaps because they want it to be that way.

Drink or drugs or both at the same time can make a person feel content. Running for twenty miles may do it for someone else. What ever the resolve, it works. I've been wondering what truly makes someone happy. Is it the company they keep? The copious amounts of stimulants? What is it? And why sometimes does it feel like a temporary fix? I think everyone has a desire to attain this nirvana. Not the temporary bit but the permanent bit.

I don't think that life ever delivers exactly what we want or desire on a permanent basis. Usually through our own imperfections I think that sometimes we desire for those cosy, nice things to be just temporary. Is that more of a reflection of a desire to live our lives more in a society so regimental and strict that occasionally its okay to fuck things up once in a while just so that it challenges our characters?

When wars don't happen, we want war. When its the other way around there is nothing more desirable than peace. Is it human nature to have these little wars? Or big ones? Sounds like sometimes its a desire to feel noticed. Or loved in a twisted way.

Even the most comfortable position that we can be in sometimes falters a little. Maybe to fuck up is to improve. With every iteration of cocking something is only for a desire to be better than we are.

2Darts not on drugs but just thinking very deeply about things. Oh and a crap week.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Weddings and Terror

I pissed myself laughing at the following news snippet.

President Musharraf, presidental plane was shot at by an anti-aircraft gun as it took off from a Pakistani airport.

A journalist interviews a local resident in Pakistan asking him about the gun shots. The man replies,

"I heard the gun shots and at first I thought is was a wedding......then I realised it was a terrorist attack!"

Clearly anti-aircraft guns are all the rage at pakistani weddings!

Losing My Religion

Actually I don't have one to lose. I had a moment of inspiration the other day but it took me a while to get round writing this one down.

Can a person have more than one religion to follow? Here are some interesting cominbations:

  • Mormon and Paganism
  • Jainism and Taoism
  • Rastafari and Hinduism
  • Islam and Judaism
  • Baha'i and Sikhism
  • Christianity and Santeria

Your wondering why I've paired them up. To add a little controversy. There's clearly one that screams controversy. Or does it?

Many of the faiths believe in a higher being. So there's a common theme. Theoretically, both religions should happily co-exist. So in their purest form and to follow what those religions dictate to the letter and without interpretation would mean we would all live in peace and harmony. Not so fast.

Its the manipulation of religion that makes a point of segregation. Our wonderful land is a testiment to all followers of all religions who don't do the "my religion is better than your religion" trick. We all live happily ever after. Its those who choose to play that game that ruin the party.

Personally, I think that if I join every single faith, then I should be okay with everyone. Where do I sign?

Thursday, July 05, 2007


Great Britain and in particular London has had the most freakish of weathers this week. One merry afternoon whilst enjoying a tipple of the finest in my local drinking establishment, I noticed the clouds darken and the day turn to night in just a few minutes. The last time that happened, a tornado struck London. This time, it was, rain. Lots and lots and lots of rain. Then multiple lightining strikes within seconds of each other. Hail stones. Is this the beginning of more to come? For all the creative licence the director and producers had of the film "The Day after Tomorrow", through exaggeration they clearly knew how to make a point. Most adults living will have noticed how the weather patterns have changed dramatically over the last twenty five years. I have. First it was the snow, then the sunshine, the lack of rain one moment and then the sheer quantity of the stuff. Droughts in a country that has seen more rain than ever before? For once, I think mother nature is on top of us and I suspect that the political will and economics of this country will be too slow to adapt to the new minor natural disasters we will face. Millions of pounds have already been lost in just a few days of heavy rain. And I still am grateful that at least we aren't as hard up as some other countries which have huge problems with prolonged flooding and drought. I find that although we are experiencing mini versions of them, we can at least appreciate what it is those poor souls have been through.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Stay of Execution for the Sports and Social Smoking ban

HOT OFF THE PRESS. The Sports and Social is now an outdoor pub....All the lines are being re-worked out in the court yard. Extensions of the bar at the designated smoking outlets. Shouldn't these reserved smoking areas have kiosks selling cigarettes too?

As the A-Force quite rightly said in his article about our friendly barmaid now denied her favorite past time of cleaning the ashtray's every five seconds. What is there to do? I see constructive dismissal here. Bring out the lawyers! Unions Reps! Injury Lawyers4U! Come to thee!

Paris Hilton

Is the whole jail thing yet another publicity stunt for a gullible American audience? I say America, and it only happens in America, a current affairs programme decides to lead in the day's news with the story of Paris Hiltons release.

The most irritating thing about it all is the fact that as the poor lady protests (I'm 100 percent behind her), her wimpy anchor man not only takes the piss but sounds so condescending I'm totally suprised that she didn't slap in the face. Oh and to top it off, he has to cheek to mention that her Dad thought she was a mouse and this was her way of proving the opposite! Go get some balls man and back up your team mate!

The thing that makes it all the more ridiculous is they were adament on showing the Paris Hilton clip when the following news was of a more important nature...Watch the YouTube clip and see for yourself.

The only other really good thing about mentioning Paris Hilton is that I might get a slightly above average readership, probably mostly from spotty teenage geeks or fathers in mid-life crisis though.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

A Twist on the Nigerian Scam

We've all heard of them. Been approached by them, and maybe even been tempted by them. Yes, its the old favorite. The Nigerian scam. Money either won/inherited/aquirred somehow is ready to be collected. Cool. Hopefully most of my readers are not stupid enough to fall for it. I know it looks a little long but trust me, you'll love it.

Internet dating has advanced this scam. It has evolved.

I'll make the introduction to this tale brief so you can read the juicy bits.

Day 1:
2Darts sign's on to a dating site. Within three days a hot looking lady approaches me. Flattery gets all men everywhere. So brilliant. In there, loving the attention.

Day 4:
More conversation. The poor cow hints that she is about to come into a lot of money from Nigeria and she doesn't have a bank account so she needs to fly out there. She's also about to be kicked out of her friend's flat. She doesn't have a job either. After much discussion I tell her that the whole Nigerian thing is a scam. After much convincing she says no more about it. I know she's on to a scam by this stage.

Day 5: Kicking out day. Panic sets in to the silly tart and she begs me for £350. No I say but being the kind Dart that I am I feel the need to give her some advice. Clearly in one ear and out the other.

Day 6: Nothing

Day 7: Email to say she's at a hotel packing for Nigeria. She leaves that day. I am pissing myself laughing.

Day 8: In Nigeria, going to get the money soon she says.

The rest is documented below.

Show Recent Messages (F3)

Kelly lauren: hello babe
2Darts: hello
Kelly lauren: gudmorning babe
Kelly lauren: hw was your night
Kelly lauren: i missed you
2Darts: Good thanks.
Kelly lauren: that means yu really enjoyself last night
Kelly lauren: i was indoor after i got back from the lawyer babe
2Darts: Yes. Sorry. So tell me what happened
Kelly lauren: he said ,he will need to collect part of his payment before he can render any
2Darts: And wat did you do?
Kelly lauren: i explained to hin but he wouldnt listen babe
2Darts: and?
Kelly lauren: he said ,he must collect part payment before anything can be done and i went
back to the company but they also said i must get a lawyer before anything can be done
2Darts: So what are you going to do?
Kelly lauren: i dont know babe
Kelly lauren: i was just indoor since yesterday crying babe
2Darts: Can you not borrow money from your step mum?
Kelly lauren: dont even think about that babe
2Darts: Sounds like you're going to have to come back to England and start looking for a
Kelly lauren: even to fly back is a problem bcos i only buy one way ticket
2Darts: Looks like you're stuck in Nigeria.
Kelly lauren: i will do anything to get the money out of this country babe
2Darts: My advice is to go to the British Consulate or Embassy and they will be able to help
you get back home.
Kelly lauren: even if we be for me to sleep aroound ...i will get that money out of here
2Darts: It just show's what more important to you in life then. Clearly it isn't your
Kelly lauren: i know you can help me but you will want to ...which i dont know why
2Darts: You have shown your true colours Kelly. The only thing important in life to you is
money. Good luck with it.
Kelly lauren: nope babe
Kelly lauren: hw could you say that 2Darts
2Darts: Because you said that you'd even sleep around to get money. That makes you a
prostitute. Don't you get it?
Kelly lauren: you know i will never do that babe
2Darts: You said you would. Look. Just follow my advice and find the British Embassy.
They'll give you a free ticket back to England. That's of course if you really are in
Nigeria. Good bye.
Kelly lauren: for you leaving me ...that really showed that you are a good friend
2Darts: No. You aren't listening to a word I have said.
Kelly lauren: i did babe
Kelly lauren: dont you know that since yesterday even have not eating bcos i cant afford it
Kelly lauren: i dont have a dime with me babe
2Darts: Kelly, go to the Embassy, get back to England. Go home to your step-mum and find
yourself a job. Act like a grown up.
2Darts: Do you know what an Embassy is?
Kelly lauren: ok
Kelly lauren: i know babe
Kelly lauren: 2Darts,can you do this for me this morning
2Darts: How Kelly? You have no contact details. No address in Nigeria. How would they know
where you are?
Kelly lauren: i will go there and meet them babe
Kelly lauren: but the hotel that i lodge sized all my travelling document bcos i want to pay
2Darts: Which city are you in?
Kelly lauren: ota
Kelly lauren: babe,i need 100pounds from you this morning babe
2Darts: How would I give that to you?
Kelly lauren: let me ask the hotel accountant that my fiancee what want to pay there bills
from uk ....that how they get it babe and i will find my way to the embassy babe
2Darts: I'm not your fiancee
Kelly lauren: pls do this for me 2Darts
Kelly lauren: sorry my friend
2Darts: The embassy will pay for your hotel too. Just get yourself there.
2Darts: What is the name of the Hotel?
Kelly lauren: cant you do this for me instead of telling the embassy for evertyhing
Kelly lauren: the name of the hotel is travellers hotel
2Darts: That is what the embassy is there for Kelly. Its quicker. What are the full address
Kelly lauren: i know you really want to help me babe
Kelly lauren: but i will get to the embassy myslef and i will explain things for them babe
Kelly lauren: i just neeed to pay the hotel so that i can get out of here
2Darts: Phone the embassy from the Hotel.
Kelly lauren: i need to pay what i owed them
2Darts: The Embassy willl pay them.
2Darts: Explain to the hotel that you need to phone the embassy because of your situation.
Kelly lauren: i cant be requestion for 100pounds from the embassy
Kelly lauren: they will not allow they disconnected the phone room babe
Kelly lauren: pls help me with 100pounds babe
Kelly lauren: let me know if you can do this for me babe
2Darts: Ask to use the hotel phone.
2Darts: Explain your situation to them. Be absolutely truthful and they will understand that
you need to call the embassy because you are in trouble.
Kelly lauren: ok.....can you help me with 100pounds this morning babe
2Darts: I will phone the Embassy in Nigeria to help you. Thanks for telling me where you
are. I will tell them that you are staying at the Hotel in Oka and tell them of your
2Darts: They will then come and get you. You see. Problem solved.
Kelly lauren: i still need to eat this morning babe.....i am not feeling ok
Kelly lauren: i need this 100pounds from you and i want you to give me babe
2Darts: They will me there within half and hour after I have contacted them.
Kelly lauren: so you cant help me on your own....right?
2Darts: I'm too far away....Someone will be at the hotel in half an hour. Promise. They will
pay the hotel and give you food and a ticket home.
2Darts: I have already help you by contacting the Embassy. They will be on there way now.
Kelly lauren: i just tell the account just now,she said if you can send the money via
westernunion that i will get it in 20mins babe
2Darts: I've already phoned the Embassy while I've been typing. They are already on there
way to see you. So pack your bags. Your going now! Isn't that good news?
Kelly lauren: good news but if they are not here
Kelly lauren: cant you help me with 100pounds?
2Darts: Can you ask the reception to give me correct address just to be sure.
Kelly lauren: can you help me with what am requestion from you now or not?
2Darts: Give me the account details.
Kelly lauren: let me ask her
Kelly lauren: wo you want to help with 100pounds or what
2Darts: Just give me the account details
Kelly lauren: 2Darts.....do you want to help me with the 100pounds or not?
2Darts: Why else would I ask for the account details.
Kelly lauren: ok....let me go nd get it for you 2mins
Kelly lauren: i got it babe
2Darts: Ok.
Kelly lauren: Name: MATTHEW JONES

City : Oka

State : Ogun

Country : Nigeria

Text Question : Who Care?

Answer : 2Darts
Kelly lauren: this what she said i shuld give to you babe
2Darts: ....and I need the address too.
2Darts: The money transfer people over here will not do anything without the address.
Kelly lauren: he said that is all you need babe
2Darts: The man at the shop needs it for his records. He said to me that sometimes people
accidentally give the wrong information so he has to cross reference it.
Kelly lauren: let me ask
Kelly lauren: wait
2Darts: ok
Kelly lauren: Address: 10,david close,oka,Ogun
Kelly lauren: you get it?
2Darts: Yep.
Kelly lauren: what do you want to do now?
2Darts: I will have to go to the shop now and give the details. How does he want it? Cash or
Kelly lauren: cash ..will be fine babe
Kelly lauren: but am not sure you are going to help me
Kelly lauren: i doubt it if you are going to do it
2Darts: Why do say that?
Kelly lauren: that is what i just felt babe and i will be glad if you can do this for me
babe and let me get out of this country ...pls
Kelly lauren: all i need is just 100pounds babe
Kelly lauren: tell me the truth 2Darts.....are you going to help me with this money?
2Darts: just a minute..
Kelly lauren: what?
2Darts: just a minute.....I need to feed the cats
2Darts: Ok. Back now.
2Darts: are you still there?
Kelly lauren: talk hun
Kelly lauren: so i will know what to do
2Darts: I need to go to the shop. So I will be about an hour as there a lots of people
sending money to Nigeria. I shall contact you soon.
Kelly lauren: dont bother sending it bcos i know you are not going to send it
Kelly lauren: take good care of urself
2Darts: Why are you being so mean?
Kelly lauren: its bcos i know that you will not send the money
2Darts: I'm not stupid enough to fall a scam like this. Not only that but I am reporting you
as well. Its been enjoyable leading you on though. Thanks.

Scamtastic eh!

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Ricky Hatton

Well done Ricky Hatton (British Boxer for those who don't know) for knocking seven bells out of Jose Luis Castillo. I currently don't have those great, but over priced sports channels at home at the moment so I missed the occasion. Never the less, another loose tongued, hot aired boxer hits the canvas at Hattons feet. Floyd Mayweather has surely got to be the setup of the year should it happen. Most likely it will. You may have noticed other another great fighter in the picture, no, you thought I was going to say out lad Rooney, no. Barrera. Incidentally, what is Shrek doing there anyway? And why has he got his fist up like that? Does he want some? eh! eh! eh! Probably one of his more embarrassing photos I think.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Face Book group

Yo! Yo! Check it out.

Face Book group called "The Greyhound - Streatham"

I bumped into this group accidentally whilst laughing at the crap alternative entrance Opening of Streatham Common courtesy of a friend of mine who announced she group the group.

Urban patois I didn't think could ever be put into a written form unlike Patois but then this is what I discovered in the group mention earlier.

"lol fair play keep doin wot ur doin famzi itz good to rep yer yer the place woz gd init i told peeps in the endz about it stil but lol just havent reached the extent u hav lol. Keep it up!! "

Erm.....I'll have an ice cream with that. Actually I do understand what it means. Sort of.

Oh. Incidentally, the person replying to the above message strangely wrote in regular English. Truly a multi-linguist.

The FB...ieeeee!!

What a phenonenomenomn. Hell I can't spell it without looking it up. Not only that, it's the weekend and in the tradition of a Friday night one got a little hammered last night so I cannot be bothered. Although these day's 2darts is trying to be a little kinder to himself. Less of everything. Moderation is the defining word for me.

FB; or as we know it, Face Book. The huge success that allows people to communicate with each other. Some people may ask, "waz wrong with using a telephone aye? aye?". Its voyeuristic appeal for one. Finding long lost friends and family members, people who owe you money or indeed you owe them and stalking are some of the things that people can do with Facebook. Its other appeal is to arrange big social occasions sucessfully because people are always on it.

I attended such an event, three friends celebrating their birthday. Pretty good event too.

I am currently seeking out family members. Not as easy as it seems but with the help of my trust sided kick, my aunt, I have managed to find a few. Most of whom I haven't seen since they were in nappies and terrorising 2darts.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Looking for a......

"Hi my name is liz9834 and I'm looking for a real man." - Discuss.

One of the worlds most ridiculous things to say on a dating site. Clearly this person saw the error of her ways and never realised that all the card board cutout geezers, and the inflatable man from the tyre shop were just not going to provide her with the support and love she needed. Finally, a friend stepped in and suggested that she should find a real man instead.

Hell, that's my interpretation to the statement.

"Mustn't have a face like a number 92 bus." - I've never seen a number 92 bus. I shalll find a picture of one....just in case. Are the men in this world going to hold up a picture of a Number 92 bus in front of a mirror and then finally decide whether or not its fine to reply to this lady?

As I'm getting a little tired of the tedium of dating sites, as a parting shot one day I shall change my profile to an alter ego and request the following just to see how many replies I get.

"Hi may name is evil2darts7654. And I'm looking for a woman with fake boobs, streaky fake tan. I find those tide marks around the neck line especially attractive. Must have had botox in the following areas, bottom, lips, forehead and chin. Anymore is a bonus. Should have an interest in spend loads of my money. Preferrably on the first date."

Me grumpy? No.

Where's that beginners guide to celibacy?

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Wine and Women.

Not one to stereotype but why oh why in soaps do they always have women hitting the vino after a disasterous moment with a man? What's that all about? What no beer? Are we all to believe that this is representative of women everywhere in that situation? What about getting hammered on Scrumpy Jack or moonshine whiskey? Special Brew? Methys?

What's kicked this off? A crap day and Hollyoaks.

Have you ever seen a bloke drowning his sorrows with a glass of Pinot Grigio? No way! Whiskey! A bottle of non-descript spirits. Hardcore to the max. What does this say about the media? Birds drink wine and blokes drink hardcore industrial strength spirits. Come on now......

Things Not to Do

Before I start, some of things that are about to be mentioned are contribution from friends that really shouldn't have done and were warned about. Clearly there are things I shouldn't have either.

  • Never buy cheap blue things that you put in your cistern tank knowing that they only last for three flushes.
  • Never allow a cat litter tray to get over populated with cat turd as the bath makes just nice a tray.
  • Never promise to stop smoking and inform everyone that you have to then to have ones resolve broken after a couple of pints.
  • Facebook people after a marathon drinking session.
  • Never buy a kebab after a marathon drinkning session ..........with onions on it.
  • Never attempt to date three ladies in one night in quick sucession.
  • Never stagger into a pub with date number three when date number two is just around the corner.
  • Never ignore person you met the night before in a drunken stupor even though they are trying to make eye contact with you.
  • Never improve on a Carribean curried goat recipe when the person who gave you the recipe knows better.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Bloody PC

Politically Correct is a reaction and a consequence of idiots like the late Bernard Mannning who's deluded idea of what is funny got the PC brigade in full riot gear. Nothing new about racist people making racist jokes. PC'ness has had its knee jerk reactions and its quiter moments. The nineties and especially when I was a student brought on PC extremism. Or does it still exist? I don't know. I'm no bloody student anymore. Bloody students! No good, lazy, idealists!.....just kidding. I remember even then sitting down with loads of stoned students all embracing such "out there" concepts such as multi-culturalism, spreading the love, discussing the virtues of being a labour supporter without having a flaming clue about politics and the medical benefits of marijuana. Whilst these conversations were had, I couldn't help but think what a bunch of insincere twats some of these middle class (I want to fit in please) came across as. Thankfully no friends of mine but just another opportunist moment for our beer swilling posse to smoke their quality dope. Listening to crap conversation was always going to be an ill side effect of seeking out quality ganja. Ah those were the days.

So why am I going on about this again? . I could've been wrongly accused of a gender inequality. If I could've covered my mouth in horror I would have looked guilty for a comment that only I interpretted as being un-PC . But that wasn't what was mean't at all. Why did I think that people may have misinterpretted my innocent suggestion? They were clearly non the wiser. Probably my guilt for frowning upon those middle class twats who were desperately trying to say the right thing. At that moment. I felt bad. For a couple of seconds.

The nexts incident was yesterday actually where I ranted about a friend who was vertically challenged, impressing upon the point that he was small in stature.....yep whilst an almost equally short friend was there to listen to said rant. Again. I felt embarrassed. I wasn't being heightist. Just ranting about my friend's poorly executed threat of violence after far too many drinks.

Am I turning into that hated middle class twat with all the associated pangs of being socially and culturally inept? Nah. Born and bred in Saaaarf Luuuundun mate. Innit man. Daz where multi- cultu-is-ism waz born bruv. Erm, innit!

Super Tramp

Have you ever had a moment where you just have to laugh even though the circumstances really do not permit it? In an evil sort of way, its is just overwhelmingly funny. I see life through comedy glasses. Most things I see or hear have a habit of having a funny side to it. So it gives me great pleasure to describe something that set my tempo for the day.

Victoria railway station and bus terminal has a number of visitors and a number of residents. Of particular interest are the street dwelling kind. I'm not talking about your common garden, run away from home heroin addicted teenager. Nope. I am talking about your seasoned, all smelling, nicely grubby, tobacco stained, piss and poo matted, Diamond White addicted tramp. There are two in particular that I have the pleasure of seeing on occassion boarding the 507 bus. These buses are the bendy ones that don't require an obligatory swipe of the Oyster (travelcard thing) card. So its a free ride from Victoria Mansion to the Costa del Waterloo. There is something amazingly content in their men's eyes when they talk to each other. They've heaaled themselve of the burden and all the worries of a modern life the rest of us lead, many, many years ago.

I happened to be on this bus this morning with a friend of mine. On this particular occassion one half of this comedy act was without the other. Whilst she was deep in conversation with me and standing side on to the smelly old fart (he's probably only 30 but looks twice the age), without pause, shame, or hesitation , he coughed. Range oh, erm about roughly a foot away. Near enough for stray spittle and lung to potentially meet my poor friend's cheek. You're probably thinking there is nothing funny at all about this and that its quite disgusting. Sure. Of course. But done with such style and without the slightest bit of embarrassment. Superrb. A man who truly cannot give a flying f*ck. The evil part? I couldn't hide my amusment. I couldn't stop laughing out aloud for quite sometime until the inevitable sharp nudge. Hahahahahahaahahahahahaaaaa!

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Boy Wonder Hamilton

Yay!! That Hamilton chap is going from strength to strength. Yet another fine display of one upmanship between our local hero Lewis Hamilton and that overcooked paella, Fernando Alonso. I think Alonso tarnished his own character in an interview during his capaign to become world champion first time around when he stated that there is no-one of the grid he would consider to be his friend. They are the opposition and that he was there to beat them Fair do's Mr I take things too seriously. Look at the attitude of our young hero Hamilton. Friendly, competitive and without any hint of arrogance. Lets not forget his champion status for GP2. Winning any championship is going to have an effect on an individual. His is for the better while Alonso is not fairing so well. In the third and final qualifying period, he made mistakes on his last possible lap to take pole position. I think we are beginning to identify the chink in Alonso's armour. His inability to control the rage inside of what clearly seems to stem from the naive attitude that just because he is world champion, the team should pay him the extra attention he supposedly earns. If he really wanted that, then Ferrari would have been more than happy to accommodate. Clearly they aren't seeing the promised land with Kimi's disappointing performance so far and the under performing Ferrari. Some might say that it is Kimi's first year at Ferrari. Lewis Hamilton clearly puts that argument right.

So what of Lewis. A sucessful conversion of pole to a win? If Alonso tries and succeeds in trying to pull off the same kamakazi routine tomorrow morning, then he'll most definitely take Hamilton out and in the process hand advantage to Ferrari or BMW. Will arogance win over team spirit? We'll see.

Are we getting all too pant wettingly excited about tomorrow's prospect of another win and indeed subsequent wins to make Lewis world champion? I think so. Form suggests that experience will win the day. It just damn logical. So why are some highly respected people in the game already suggesting that the miracle will happen? Look at the results so far. Not one single error. Canada and Hamilton's performance was not only text book, but one would regard as the perfect race.

The US grand prix traditionally a Ferrari stronghold is no more judging by the qualifying form of McClaren Mercedes. Expect the following results:

1 Lewis Hamilton
2 Fernando Alonso
3 Felippe Massa
4 Nick Heidfeld
5 Kimi Raikkonen
6 New Boy Vettel
7 Heikki Kovalainen
8 David Coulthard/Mark Webber - yes a copp out if you will. Could swing either way.

One to watch. Red Bull Racing for tomorrow.

I could be entirely wrong however.

Habit, Habit, Habit....where have all the nun's gone?

Okay. Some more observations about this internet dating malarkey. Hopefully this will be the last for now.

All sites ask to describe yourself set against certain criteria. For example, ethnicity, sex and that sort of thing. A few things amuse me about one particular site. There is a question about drug usage. Do you do drugs? Its a good question. But hardly one that someone is truly going to be honest about eh. The options are No, Yes, and wouldn't like to say. Erm. Forgive me for stating the obvious. But doesn't saying "Wouldn't like to say" an admission of guilt? There are some people who are going to say, its nobody's business but there own. What a load of rubbish. If you do, then you do. Pills, powder, injections, smoke whatever. If its a part of someones life then why both lying about it. They'll get found out soon enough. If you do then don't be shy. Describe what kind of sh*t your into. Bit a brown? E's, tab's, ganj? Better to get it out of the way. As ever the curious person that I am, I set about including this as a pre-requisite to a persons profile. Not to actually partner up with I hasten to add. As you've read some of my articles in the past I'm not a big fan of anyone who lives for drugs. Moderation I say. Only kidding. Now out of several hundred thousand people signed up to the service, amazingly twenty two women had admitted to being a user. Now that's what I call having balls. My hat off to you my dears for the honesty. Slightly worrying however are the number of people who might contact them just to get the number of dealer as their own have probably been nicked. Scary thought eh?

The other one is size. That's body size. The usual apply, fat, thin, curvy, some poundage, and hardly suprising, wouldn't like to say. What??? Are you telling me that their ethics solely lie in the realm of "but at the end of the day its all about the personality". This is true. But the truth of it, is that in this game, some degree of physical attraction has to be present. After all would you have the stomach to shag a Hippo-croca-pig? (Credit goes to an old friend of mine with no sense of decency). Really! If you're have some poundage, sooo what. I've met some extremely sexy ladies with additional curves to their already beautiful curves. Stick thin? Who gives a toss. All these varieties of physiques are to cater for all kinds of tastes. I can understand people's reluctance to answer these personal questions truthfully but if they are ever going to meet someone then they have to be truthful. No one likes a liar. You wouldn't go and answer an advert for a shiny new car only to see it for real and realise its only got three wheels, no bonnet and no seats? Would you buy it or call the owner a stinking liar? Same thing. If they lack so much self esteem, they are only going to be feel worse for everytime they get knocked back after being discovered. Everyone feels low in the beginning. Time and being with the right people I think ultimately resolves a lack of confidence and self esteem.

Now some clever arse is going to think, but Mr know it all TwoDarts, maybe size isn't important to some people, to which I would swiftly and calmly state......your right.

What am I a flaming agony aunt? Shut it two darts!!

Serious Moment

There's a thought that has bothered me for a while. People have opinions. Some quite strong. Which is very admirable at times. People have beliefs that will not be swayed either. What happens when people realise that although those beliefs or opinions are a little unfair or unjust. I'm not talking about something highly immoral or bigotted or racist. I'm talking about an opinion of another person who happens to be in a situation that is a part of their life where they feel that it is just wrong. What are you talking about twodarts? I spoke to a friend last night about this internet dating thing. They've tried it before and I was suprised about what they had to say about it when I asked what in particular they were looking for. When they said they weren't into single mothers it didn't actually dawn on me the weight of that statement until this mornings usual cruise up internet dating alley. I must confess that as I picked some random contenders, the ocassional single mother popped up. Those words from last night echoed back to me. I actually started to question myself about what I thought about it. It never bothered me before. But the rationale for my friends thinking was one of being a part of that person's life but knowing that there would always be the presence of her ex partner and the child of another man in most cases. He found that very unappealling. As I looked up more ladies I came across a few more. What would it be like to vye for the attention of the lady of your life when she clearly has the attention of a child. Isn't that a rather selfish attitude to have? Is it? Yes and no I concluded. That child isn't one day going to go away. Its a part of her life and makes her who she is. Does she sound nice, compatible, a lifer? Why should a decison be based on her child I thought? It is an internet dating site and that lady is on their to meet other people. Its something for themselves. Yet I couldn't help but take an objective view of this. Some single childless people will no doubt feel a little uncomfortable about this particular situation. Some else's child. Could it be that they'd always imagined starting a family from scratch and the idea of having a ready made one feels like he/she has skipped a few steps. Especially the fun part :-)

The more I thought about this the more I began to realise how awkward and uncomfortable addressing this subject became. Is it right to feel like that?

The simple answer if this is the answer is that those people including myself are individuals with a right to be prejudice when it comes to selecting a partner. There is no good or bad, morally right or wrong in this. Just something that an individual feels comfortable with. My choice? I'm not saying.....

Too good to Resist

In my quest for love I signed up to an Internet dating site a while back. With affairs of the heart you've got to be into it to get something out of it. Occassionally I just go cruising on this particular site. God I sound like a kerb crawler. Or a night club male tart.

Two particular ladies caught my attention for not the obvious reasons. You'll see why.

First one:

Hi, my name is Nades1978. I am a 28 year old single woman with black hair and blue eyes. I am 5 ft 5 tall disabled, living in Kazah, Russia.

She is currently looking for
A man aged between 33 and 34 living in United Kingdom for friendship

She describes her personality as

Nothing wrong there now. Right?

Very attractive picture which I won't disclose because I'm not a complete w*nker. On further inspection, I looked at her details.

Three things just totally opposed the description above. One the picture is of a woman with fair skin and blond hair. Not black. Two, ethnicity, african. Three, religion, Sikh.

Am I missing something?

So I pondered for a while, whether or not she honestly thinks she could get away with it.

I'm not even going to add the little write up about herself. All I will say is that she would've been better off subscribing to Russian wives for English dirty old men. Dot Com. Anyway, I had to respond.

Hi,Thanks for viewing me. I couldn't hold out any longer but I'm curious, your pictures are great, but I seem to be missing something. You seem to have blond hair in all three pictures and your african in ethnicity and your a Sikh and you live in Russia? I've never met anyone so erm, diverse in all senses. How did you come to be like that?

I wait the reply, if any with great anticipation!! I'll post it up here if there is one.

Candidate number two. You'll have to trust me on this one.

Indian girl 22 years old. Into exotic dancing with her pet python. Is currently setting up an adult film company. The picture of her has to be seen to be believed. Oh and what does she want, out of the usual categories such as long term relationship, dating, friendship, yes she didn't pick initmate encounter, she picture other relationship. What the hell does she want? A prop for her new company? Walking penis? Or something altogether more sinister? Odd. Very odd.

More Chav stuff

A contributor to my blog reminded me of another Chavtastic fact about my neck of the woods.

I was off sick for a while. After being saturated with daytime TV and Chav's favorites Tricia and Jeremy Kyle, I resorted to finding something else to do. People watching. You know, the kind of stuff that old retired people do. Incidentally, I'll put down for the record that I'll end up being a miserable, complaining old fart when I get old. Mark my words. Victor Meldrew for the year 2047. If I get that far. (Ged on it with!!)

Anyway, so in my fine part of the world you have Chav's on Rota.

Morning Chav - two sub species; the pisshead's that get up bang on 8.30am to get to the local grocery shop for their fix of some Kestrel Super. The second one, single mums with about fifty kids all from different Dad's tagging along. Yep for a while I thought, no, got to be a child minder, just before the mouthed opened pouring out expletives. Either that or child care standards have slipped.

Lunch time Chav - Strictly speaking grotty hoodies. Chicken and chips from the takeaway of choice, no not KFC but South London's fav, Morleys. And if you're brave enough to walk past a group loitering near a sweet shop, ocassionally the question will pop up, "got fifty pee man. Innit". Jeeze! Chavvy mum's mum ferrying kids to see the doctor for some scrotty disease while chavvy mum hits the pub with her mates.

Evening Chav's - What else but Ford Fiesta's lowered, tinted with sh*t body kits. That's not a cherry bomb exhaust but a hole in one. All the time saying "nah! Is got a terrrbooo init man. Init." Oh shut up! The blokes all have a gangly stance with go many spots you could join them up with a pen and draw a Burberry hat with it. This scenario can't complete without the following two. Dog's and bitches. Or is it hoes? Imitation gangsta truly dilutes pure blood Chavs. But its a sign of the times. No Chav gang can be complete without token Scrapped back greasy haired 13 year old girls dressed up as eighteen year olds. And pregnant. Probably. Finally the obligatory Pitbull, or Staff. Why? Oh and on the lead is a 12 year old boy.

Night time Chav's - All of the above but hammered on Diamond White, Alchopop of choice, Dad's whiskey or Grandma's Gin. Evidence of night time Chav's is undisputable. Pizza sized sick on pavements on in the Church yard.

Yes a final observation. Why does it seem as though most Chav's and hoodies insist on hanging out in Church Yards? Are they paid protection money by the local vicar? Protection from whom? Probably God Botherers. Probably.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Is it National Chav Day?

Just as I'm settling down for a peaceful nights sleep am I to be woken up by a congregation of Chavs a little way down my road accompanied by the sweet melodies of car alarms going off. My hats off to the Chavs of South London. Tossers!

News to make any man cry

"Woman jailed for testicle attack says the BBC" - now that's just nuts.

Here's a bit of the article.

"A woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands has been sent to prison.
Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard.
She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out. A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: "That's yours."

What kind of a woman was that to have the strength and the erm balls to do that? More to the point, if they were at a house party, what was he doing with his pants down his ankles in front of all those people? Oh I get it. It was one of "those" parties. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Keys in the fruit bowl kinda stuff eh?

Internet dating part deux

This deserves a separate mention to the previous article. As I mentioned before odd nicknames rather freak me out. I see it as a sign of things to come. Another extremely irritating thing about internet dating are those people, and I clearly can only speak as a bloke looking for a lady, who desccribe themselves in one way but stick a picture up of some model from Vogue magazine. Or worse, a recognisable model/actress. I mean how stupid do you think we are? Really. And lets pretend that if one were to entertain going a date with "sexygal1981" knowing that she is the spitting image of Claudia Schiffer that I'm clearly not to be disappointed. After all she really does look like that. Only for her to turn up looking like a ugly greasy moose. And noticing my shock/horror to then quote lines from her militant feminists hand book that she happens to be carrying. Or did I miss the small print on the website that says that the picture must be of a likeness of ones self indicating that the poor girl is deluded.

Not to pick on the fairer sex on this one. I'd piss myself laughing if blokes were to do the same sort of thing. I think what's more likely to happen is that they'd put a real picture of themselves on the site but not before they've asked their mate who works as a designer at a mens lifestyle magazine to airbrush and "correct" certain lumps and bumps (man boobs and beer gut). Or a picture of themselves in their prime prior to embracing the batchelor lifestyle of booze, fags, drugs and loose women. Oh and Xbox. Infact blokes are more likely, if they could get away with it to put up either a picture of a representative cartoon character (Homer Simpson I envisage would be hugely popular) or their gentials. Or just something funny but childish. Probably. As you can tell I would be a model candidate and put a real picture of me up. Now where's that picture of Harrison Ford..

Either way I don't think its fair on ones self or others to wear such a veil of deceit (note to creators of Blogger, please can you incorporate a spell checker. Thanks). It only makes a waste of time on the date, or even the first step of meeting some one online (if you're that thick that you really believe that she looks like Scarlett Johansson then good luck mate).

Do people really have such a lack of confidence as to not show a true picture of themselves. I know people's confidence takes a huge knock after coming out of a relationship or never having one in the first place. Yes it takes time to get back to the real you or to find the real, I'm comfortable with myself you. Once you're there, get yourself down to a photo studio and get some glam shots done of yourself to stick on the website. And when I mean glam shots, I don't mean those kind of shots. Save that for the person you hook up with.

F*ck me I sound like bloody Trisha or Jeremy Kyle (for those in the US and other countries, its the Brit version of Jerry Springer, and other talkshow hosts).

Internet dating..

Have I made a mention of this before? Possibly. After tearing myself away from a certain social utility network; I'm trying not to say its name. The therapist suggested I don't. I thought I'd cruise an internet dating site (Man that's sounds so slutty) for fun. I've peeked at it now and again with absolutely no commitment to it at all for the past few months. Its always interesting to see what kind of people are out there. My hat off to all of those people who have the balls to go for it. As I was browsing the many ladies who''ve put themselves on offer (why am I cringing whilst writing this?) I noticed a few people who had chosen (I know because it sounds like I'm visiting a knocking shop; I'm really, really not thinking that though. It just sounds a little sordid.) some rather odd, stupid or unattractive nicknames.

Here are some actual real life examples that I came across..along with my usual running comentary.

Lil Bitch - ......and proud of being one?
CrazyChick78 - Probably quite the opposite and boring as hell.
Loveshy01 - So what the hell are you doing on this site love?
FiestyBird - I bet she drinks Stella, has a tattoo of a bulldog and can swing a mean right hook.
Flaps14 - Oh dear what an unfortunate name.
Joanne Ryan - Erm, is your name Joanne Ryan by any chance.
Julesrules1911 - Control freak.
Rosehailmary - God Botherer. First dinner date and we say prayers before we eat. Ok?
Onemorewine - Piss head.
Goblin Girl - Ooh errr. On a first date? You really got to see the picture.
LooLabeller - Up there with bog brush quality control inspector.

Clearly internet dating is a newish concept and doesn't have the immediate impact that a bit of aftershave, nice hair cut, perfume, a bit of rouge or lippy would have in the conventional way of meeting someone, so there are other ways too seem attractive or sound reasonably sane in order to attract. Those listed above either scare the crap out of me just by the name or raise my eyebrow way past where it is capable of reaching.

What's in a name? Everything when it comes to internet dating.

Note to some of my feminist female readers: Please don't play the "2darts is a sexist b*stard". Just reverse the gender issue aand the argument then applies equally.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

South London

You know when you've cross the North, South divide when tow trucks have sub woofers installed. We are of course talking about the North, South London divide. Everything south of the river has just that little bit extra. Extra road raging bus drivers, a few more hoodies during a school hours, more old people. Milk float drivers with attitude. And sub woofers in tow trucks. I love South London.

A Drunk French President? No way!

A Belgian newscaster has apologised for accusing the French President Nicolas Sarkozy for being drunk at the G8 summit. Here is the clip.

He wasn't at all drunk. There's more chance of a cocktail of coke, E's and Crystal meths being dropped in his morning coffee. Or so the performance would suggest. Allegdly.

Alonso feeling a little Alone so?

It had to happen. I'm suprised it happed so soon though. Many a Formula 1 driver has thrown his toys out of the pram when things aren't going his way. Villeneuve, Schumacher, Schumacher Junior, Raikonnen and even Button to name a few. Eddie Irvine used to be quite masterful at it but this latest whinge from Alonso has broken my solemn vow not to mention anything about it.

Here's the scenario. Boy wonder Hamilton fairly and squarely wins the Canadian grand prix. Unlike most races where an unexpected winner is usually gifted the win by means of the front runners breaking down or having an accident. This race has a high number of retirees but none of the front runners. No one who would have made a difference to the out come if they had stayed on in the race. Indeed they may have been detrimental to Alonso's seventh place finish. He could have left with nothing.

So it came a no big suprise that the young Spanish driver decided to have a moan to his countrymen about how he has the sneaky suspicion that the British team that he drives for favours the young British driver. What? Yeah and Ferrari, the Italian team favouring who for so long? Umm does Alonso forget, when McClaren Mercedes were doing rather well in the late nineties with their partnership of Hakinen and Coulthard that the British driver didn't have an advantage of the Finnish driver?

What a sad little man Alonso is. So what if he is a proven champion. All champions fall eventually. Did he really think he was the next Schumacher? Unlike Schumacher, I don't think he has the air of invincibility like the German had. I'm no fan of Schumacher but I have to be honest enough to give him legendary status (what's that funny taste in my mouth?). Alonso made mistakes in that race. Quite a few of them. It was his own fault. Why? He know's how good Hamilton is and he is worried. Instead of worrying about whether the rookie is better than him, perhaps it would be better to just focus on trying to win another championship. If the boy is better than him then so be it. At least Alonso can be thankful of not being a one hit wonder like Villenueve.

I cannot help but compare Alonso with Schumacher. Where Schumacher didn't have a great car underneath him last season, he still badgered Alonso till the end. Same goes for the year before. Alonso put in a similar situation with a slightly under performing car would probably fall to pieces.

With that kind of attitude and to accuse his own team so early in the season for unfair treatment is pretty childish and very poor in terms of professionalism. If I were Ron Dennis, I would be watching him like a hawk and getting the PR and legal machine ready to pounce on anymore loose tongues criticism at the team from Alonso. Bold statements like that need to be backed up. Tread carefully Alonso. Or you'll go the way of Villeneuve and his embarrassing tittle tattle with Jenson Button and BAR just before he was booted out early. Oh my mistake. He walked. Childish.

One final thing for Alonso to remember. Hamilton maybe a Rookie in Formula one. But he was a dominant force in GP2. Its not about the car, its about attitude, natural ability, humility and focus.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

What do we do with the time that has been given to us?

One of the more fascinating questions in life is whether there is life after death. Many civilisations, religions and individuals believe in reincarnation. Others believe that this is one chance and one body and that after death there is nothing. Do these two opposing views dictate how we live our lives? Do those beliefs allow us to behave in a manner which allows us to be either destructive or more self aware? Are human beings the only animals who question ones existence? Interesting.

This topic of conversation is huge in scope. Too big for anyone to comprehend? No. Not so. Given enough time and study, nothing is too difficult to grasp or understand. My original question remains. What do we do with the time that has been given to us? Test our mortality? I think that is inevitable. Strive to be better than we are? What in ones eyes is a virtuous thing to be ? Does one need to be so? And for who's benefit? Everyones? No-ones? What if we could review our lives after death? Exactly what if anything would we change?

Reincarnation allows us to live life as it is given to us and as we make it; taking the rough with the smooth, the happy times with the sad. And at the end of it, those experiences define the very essence of what it is we take to another life. Who or what ever that might be.

What about those people who live for the moment and who believe that come death, there is nothing and all of ones actions of the past are inconsequential at the moment of death. Do I suggest that those are the very people that are villanous or have criminal thoughts? No.

Either approach one can argue cannot be proven. But the belief that an individual is so strong that it is pointless to argue either point. Its a very intimate belief that we have and hold. Can we compare or draw parallels with the belief of religion and non believers of religion? No. I think reincarnation or otherwise is very much a more personal thing that cannot be shared with anyone else. Its a view of what one thinks happens after death.

I forgot about the people who believe that we are born from the earth and are returned to it upon death. That there is no fantastic voyage of reincarnation and that we are all simply the very essence of Earth. There is no such thing as coming back as an eagle or a rich and famous actor.

Either way, whilst people spend time thinking about the above and more, what are you going to do tomorrow eh?

Monday, June 11, 2007

The Winning Formula

Why didn't I think of running the National Lottery? Camelot are making an absolute fortune; under the guise of giving loadsa money to charity. Sorry, just being a little cynical.

I checked my usual collection of national lottery tickets. I lost the will to check every lottery draw and decided to go for the once a month routine. Okay, when I can be bothered. I don't expect to win. No I am not using an old psychological trick to make the actual win even sweeter. Nor do I adopt a defeatist attitude to it. If I did then I wouldn't bother buying the ticket. Nope. A realist's, no, a semi-committed optimist's attitude to checking my tickets.

In the crazy world that we live in I cannot deny the possibility of a percentage of the population who would religiously buy up forty tickets on a Saturday morning. Buy food and drink and invite friends round for the evening Lottery Draw. Canopes and champagne laid out ready to celebrate that win that never comes. The thing is that most likely and in the style of a goldfish with a seven second/day memory, the whole process will happen again. Cynical? Me? I think there is at least one family/person in this country that must do this. Who in their right mind would spend that much money where the odds are reduced by a miniscule amount by buying that many tickets. In the grand scheme of things, buying one ticket or forty hardly makes a difference. Besides winning with the one is far more impressive. Do I religiously buy a ticket? Nope. Not since I got stuffed on a four number win. It was the first ever national lottery in the UK. I got four numbers. I thought I was on to a small fortune. Well to a student, anything about a £100 would be great. After spending about ten minutes on a premium number to find out how much I won, I was told that a large number of people got four numbers and I won a grand sum of fifteen quid. Lovely.

Don't I sound like a whinging old bastard? Probably.

A True British Champ in waiting.

How can I possibly ignore Lewis Hamilton's well deserved win. He won the Canadian grand prix with the skill and talent of all the great drivers of the past. Michael Schumacher, Gilles Villeneuve, Fangio, Jackie Stewart, Damon Hill, Nigel Mansell, Ayrton Senna. The list can go on. Never has there been talent at such a young age to take on the big guns of the Formula one world. I can't think what it would be like to have Schumacher still in the game. With Ferrari's performance of late it would be a little unfair. Put the two drivers together in McClaren's and the outcome would still be the same as the weekends results with the more experienced world champion floundering. Probably not quite as badly as Alonso but most definitely behind wonder boy Hamilton. Not a single error in what was the most testing of grand prix's. No less than four safety car deployments. A huge test of mental strength for the youngster and he proved he could handle the pressure. But have the media turned the up the hype machine? Possibly. Without taking credit away from Hamilton, he is after all a GP2 champion. And a dominant one at that. He has had the backing of Ron Dennis of McClaren Mercedes from a young age. The will and motivation have been there for a long time. It was inevitable that Lewis Hamilton would one day race for McClaren Mercedes. Some have criticised Ron Dennis for giving him a full time race seat. For a man who have closely followed the young star's career, I think he made a well educated choice on where and what Hamilton would be doing for 2007.

Hamilton's fantastic qualifying set a standard for himself and a warning shot to his team mate. Race day and clearly unsettled by the fact that a rookie (only as far as F1 is concerned) out qualified him, he attempted on cold tires to snatch the lead at turn one. As a seasoned driver and double world champion, that was an error that even Takuma Sato would be ashamed of. That error at that corner was the first of four throughout the race. It seems clear to anyone following form of F1 drivers that Alonso when under pressure can make mistakes. No. Not pressure but when his ego has been given a knock, he is prone to making rookie mistakes. Oh the irony..

McClaren Mercedes have been right in allowing their drivers to race. No team orders. They were criticised at the Monaco grand prix for allegdly issuing team orders. What would any team do when they have dominated the entire grand prix with both drivers commanding a one, two position? Allow them to race each other in the final third of the race exposing both drivers to the potential to wipe both cars out leaving team and drivers with no points? That would just be ridiculous. Even Ferrari saw the sense in it and made no complaint. So why did the media stir up a pointless argument? Because our boy (Hamilton) was catching Alonso at a rate of knots. On a circuit like Monaco it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to endanger the guaranteed outcome of a win for McClaren. I put it down to sheer patriotism and a whole lot of enthusiasm. The boy did good at Canada. More of that and we could be looking at a rookie world champion.

Virtual Socialising

There was a time where people interested in computers and the internet were considered to be geeky and the past time consigned to a bunch of spotty, pasty teenagers hunched over a computer until stupid o'clock in the morning delighting in the latest hack to an academic or military network. We've come a long way since then. Those nerdy sorts are now millionaires. Reap what you sow, or so the saying goes. And they have developed such technologies that have most of the population ranging from teenagers to thirty-somethings desperate for their next fix.

What am I talking about here? I'm talking about the social networking revolution. Many of my friends have subscribed to social gateway networks on the internet. The formula is simple. Enter your details about your pet hates, favorite music etc, as much as you like or as little depending on how paranoid you are. Other people sign up and search for friends, family, exes, someone to stalk. People share pictures and videos, join groups discussing everything from the smell of Superman's pants to serious political debate. People can describe at anytime of the day their mood or what they are doing. This is all very compelling stuff. Addictive for some. Frighteningly so.

So what benefits can we get out of this new form of communication? Meeting old friends from school, college, university or work. Family members who live several continents away. I have managed to find friends and family and social networks are a great way of inviting people to events such as birthdays, drinking sessions, charity stuff etc.

Are there any negatives to this? Possibly. Stalkers would have a field day. How much would you want other people to know things about you. Then there is the unsaid one upmanship about the number friends that people have. Too few and that person can be seen as a social outcast. Billy no-mates. Too many, and people wonder if all those people really are their friends and that possibly just bumping into a stranger is excuse enough to warrant including that person as a friend. Perhaps these attention seeking folk clearly don't feel secure enough with the number of "proper" they have. School ground mentality is what I'm thinking. Who am I to criticise? This isn't about who's more popular than who although people of a certain age or mentality would like to think so.

So on to the addictiveness of these social networks. Simply put, it appeals to peoples voyeuristic nature. I've read and heard fellow social networkers spending lots of time catching up with what other people are getting up to or looking at recently posted pictures/videos that other people have put up.

I've read articles on this subject in various magazine publications. The latest being GQ. For their particular study, they chose people from different walks of life who have subscribed to these social networks who have all the symptoms of a 40 a day cigarette smoker. Yes, trying to wean themselves down to a few minutes a day on these networks. I'm not criticising these users as I am a member of the community too. I've had time to step back from what this has become just for a moment to see what kind of impact it is having on everyday life. I've heard of cases where friends on these social networks communicate with each other even though they are in the same office block or even worse, just a few desks away. That shouts of serious mental issues to me. I unfortunately have been rather ill for sometime so the only socialising I have been able to do is via social networking. Some people (fit and healthy) clearly need to see some one who specialises in addictive disorders.

The strange thing is, despite moving civilisation and communication between people in the direction of a bit of desk space and the eerie glow of a computer monitor, there is much fun to be had. For people with disabilities, it is a invaluable tool. For people always on the go, a life line to keep in contact with friends and family, but.....

....what ever happened to picking up the telephone and calling someone?

BBC a little sloow to follow up with the P-Word...

The BBC have a great magazine section. I found today an article entitled After the N-Word, the P-Word. Interestingly, it seems as though I am not the only one concluding how reclaimation of traditionally racist terms should just be left alone to be forgotten. There is some interesting feedback on the article.

Click here to read the full story.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Driving Attitude

More interesting idea's from the government. This time to combat presumably road rage or just poor driving attitude, they are considering psychometric tests. What a blindingly good idea! Just what we need. I'm sorry but that is just a load of rubbish. As a seventeen year old, would his/her mental attitude be indicitive of their driving attitude in another ten or twenty years time? Of course not. I for one had a very different attitude towards driving back when I first started out to the one that I have now. As a youngster, I always enjoyed driving rather quickly. Owning a quick BMW didn't really help matters I guess. I was however always very aware of pedestrians. I would never want to have blood on my hands due to careless driving on my part so I only ever drove speedily in areas where there was no chance of a pedestrain crossing the road or on very sparsley populated areas of the motorway. Nowadays I have a completely different attitude. I just wanna drive like Jenson Button everywhere. Just kidding. By virtue of living in a highly congested city, there is absolutely no point hammering it down the road. You just can't. A pleasant drive through the country would be just that. Pleasant and unhurried. Attitudes change as people get older and priorities change. I had a friend who in his youth was involved in plenty of accidents and yet considered himself a good driver. By the time he was twenty eight, he was driving a BMW M635CSi. 286BHP in a two tonne car. Not the best combination one would think. Fatherhood had changed him as did maturity. Would a psychometric test determine what kind of car if any that one would be allowed to drive? I hope not. It doesn't necessarily solve drink or drug driving either.

More Racism on Big Brother ???

I would just like to say that I am not a fan of Big Brother. And never will be. I find no pleasure in watching a bunch of attention seeking, selfish individuals. Yes and that includes all the so called moralistic winners such as Shilpa Shetty. Speaking of which; the latest Big Brother has again been subject to controversy. Or has it. This latest eviction due to the use of rascist language directed at another contestant. Is it a knee jerk reaction to the celebrity BB calamity that happened not so long ago?

A while ago I read several interesting articles on reclaiming racist words like nigger and paki. The word nigger has to an extent been reclaimed. The word nigger and paki where extremely offensive terms used for people from the african/carribean regions of the world and paki for people from the indian continent. Evidence of reclaiming the word nigger has clearly happened in some hip-hop and rap lyrics. More recently there has been a drive by some parts of the asian community to relcaim the word paki. Either term is considered offensive by a percentage of the population. I have a number of asian and black friends. Would I consider using those words in their presence or indeed refer to them in those words? No of course not. I am asian and I was subject to abuse years ago and the words paki I still consider highly offensive. Why ? For one, it was incorrectly used as I am not of pakistani origin. Two, the majority of people using the word paki were unfortunately white working class idiots. I'm not suggesting that the blame lies entirely with one group of people for there are people from many social and cultural backgrounds who are equally as racist. But I'm not going to travel down that path for this article. I describe my experience as a child. The word paki was used indisriminately. And I think that is what hurt the most. I remember standing up to a racist bully and just before I got a kicking, I remember asking him if he knew the difference between an indian, a pakistani and a bangladeshi? He answered that "we all look the same, smell the same and talk the same". What a charmer.

As always I did some research on reclaiming words like nigger. There is some suggestion that a portion of black american's have readily accepted the reclaimation of the word. Here is an interesting link that articulates the argument much better than I could. And clearly is much more qualified than I am to do so.

I look at this argument from my life experiences and how I see those terms. So back to the Big Brother incident. Was it right for a white person to allegdly use the word nigger "affectionately" to another house mate who happens to be black?

The words that were said were, "You're pushing it out, you nigger". For a nineteen year old to say such a thing must mean a couple of things. Being a little naive and just because it might be acceptable black on black doesn't necessarily mean that black on white makes it acceptable too. People are clearly going to say but why, doesn't that set a double standard? Because I don't think that the word nigger in this country has been totally reclaimed. Black people do find the word offensive. In the USA it might be slightly different but here it is still very much a sore point. I do feel sorry for her because I think that perhaps she's listened to a little bit too much gangsta rap/hip hop. I'm sorry, I just had to have that little dig.

In much the same way, I would find being called a paki by either an asian or persons from a different ethnic background highly offensive. Reclaimed or not.

Those terms which originate from hatred should really remain there. They certainly will do to those who were referred to in that context. Nothing really changes that fact. Reclaimation of an offensive word may help lessen the guilt of society but it never quite takes away the offence that it caused in the first place. Should those words remain in our language. That is really up to people as a whole. Those words I suspect will quietly slip away as more people become educated to the ways of other cultures and peoples.

I've only just learned through reading the BBC's "Have your Say" section on this subject that the Charley, the black lady in question had already used the word nigger. It doesn't take away anything I've said but to reinforce some points that I've made about double standards and society not being ready reclaim racist terminology. One final point. The lady who has been booted off for using a racist word, Emily, if she truly believes that she mean't to use the term in a friendly way then I'm sure her black friends will be more than happy to publicly support her. We shall see. Oh did I mention that she is a self confessed right wing Tory supporter? I'm not suggesting that right wing tories have a fondness for racism, its just that for a young lady to side herself with a party clearly struggling to distance itself from that kind of reputation, surely she's seems to think that is what the Tory party stands for. Oh dear. Clearly the PR machine isn't working very well at the moment.