Things Not to Do

Before I start, some of things that are about to be mentioned are contribution from friends that really shouldn't have done and were warned about. Clearly there are things I shouldn't have either.

• Never buy cheap blue things that you put in your cistern tank knowing that they only last for three flushes.
• Never allow a cat litter tray to get over populated with cat turd as the bath makes just nice a tray.
• Never promise to stop smoking and inform everyone that you have to then to have ones resolve broken after a couple of pints.
• Facebook people after a marathon drinking session.
• Never buy a kebab after a marathon drinkning session ..........with onions on it.
• Never attempt to date three ladies in one night in quick sucession.
• Never stagger into a pub with date number three when date number two is just around the corner.
• Never ignore person you met the night before in a drunken stupor even though they are trying to make eye contact with you.
• Never improve on a Carribean curried goat recipe when the person who gave you the recipe knows better.