Where on Earth....

What a night last night. I managed to virtually defy science and common sense last night with a series of spectacularly embarrassing feats starting with the most variety of drinks that I have ever had. Let me see if I can remember. Lager, red wine, tequila, something green, vodka, gin. How on earth did I manage to do that? I sit on my bed comprehensively hungover pondering what could have been. The night started off well with a beer with my friend Blarney who had been going through some grief at work so we hooked up for a chin wag. Later, I went for a "supposed to be" quick drink with my old boss who wouldn't stop talking about his sexual conquests. Quite depressing considering my circumstances and the fact that he has several on the go. As I was finishing off my glass of wine, my work colleague stopped for a quick drink and offered me a glass of wine which of course I had. Then I hooked up with some other work mates and so off we went to another pub. A quick one there and then off to somewhere in North London. A swanky club of sorts where the celebs hangout. I seem to remember seeing Jimmy Mistry (The bloke from East is East) and Sadie Frost (Jude Law's ex). I'm sure there were plenty more but my vision wasn't up to scratch at that point. I also seem to remember a pretty woman who I talked to for a while but by that stage I was well and truly gone. The last thing I remember was staggering around mumbling down the phone to my ex girlfriend. I wasn't talking english I don't think. I was talking beerglish. So I apologise to her. Is this what singledom amounts to? During the process of drinking, everything seems to be reasonable and justified. Post drinking brings along kebab and chips followed by the passing out ceremony. The morning after is an exercise in self regret and recollections of cringe worthy moments. Another night that I totally ruined for myself. Maybe I should actually follow the advice of my good friends and that is to stop boozing, stop smoking and start getting fit rather than behaving like a right plank.