My mate the ex-marine, I shall call him Action Man, and I spoke at length about life, the universe and women for quite some time on Monday. It was at some point he made me realise how I can make a change in lifestyle for the better. As I may have mentioned before, his body is a temple and he takes care of himself. There is nothing remotely camp about it, just commonsense. I look back at the number years I have sustained this lifestyle of boozing and smoking, dabbling in the occassional pill, powder and "smoke". Not to the extreme of say Keith Richards et al. But enough is enough. They say knowing of a problem and realising that it is problematic is the first step in healing. Okay. Wise words whoever said that. Easier said than done is another set of wise words too. Everyone adopts a lifestyle. Good, bad or indifferent. Its a matter of perspective. Doctors would say I lead a poor lifestyle. I would agree. Changing it is tough. Most social aspects of my life involve bars and pubs. Most of my friends prefer those locations too. I've tried pursuading some friends to try something different, like doing some kind of sporting activity. Going for walks etc. Admittedly these suggestions take place whilst on the fifth pint. Typically nothing becomes of it.
Last night, I was out with a load of friends at karaoke night. There were some people who I hadn't seen for years and some I couldn't wait to see again. A real success of a night. And one with booze and fag's. Where I have left my local boozer and decided that drinking elsewherer would expose me to new experiences, I am still exactly where I started. Booze and fag's. July will see to the smoking. But not the booze.
I've been invited tonight to a gig in near Jack the Ripper's old haunt. Jack the Ripper has no relevance on this topic. A social occassion. A chance to maybe meet Miss Right. More booze and more fag's. Is it really possible to walk into such venues drinking just juice or a soft drink for the entire duration? I think I'd make a terrible pregnant woman. I don't think I could.
One of the toughest decisions I am about to make is changing this lifestyle for another. I had a moment recently that scared me and made me realise my mortality. There is nothing quite like that moment when you realise how precious life really is. Time stops. Every thought is put on hold. All worries disappear. Its then that you ask youself, do you want to live? The answer is always going to be the same.
Will I be envangelical if I adopt a new lifestyle? There is a chance I may. But only temporarily. Action Man has already invited me to join him at the gym one day. I'd be stupid not to.
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