Friday, March 30, 2007

Beautiful Women

It was a real shame to hear of a friend of mine who had recently split up with his girlfriend. I have some sympathy for him as I myself called it a day with my lady sometime ago for entirely honourable reasons too. Single life has been kind to me, so I can convey with some confidence to my young batchelor of a mate, things will look up. Trust me. If last night was anything to go by then yes, yes, yes!

One of the perils of singledom however is that there are ladies (and I apologise to those with genuine intent and a kind heart) who can sniff out a single man from a mile away. And play them. This is not a note of bitterness. On the contrary. An observation. From experience, the moment I put my "I'm available" sign up, I had a couple of friends who overnight became from nice mate, to flirty mate. Nice try girls. Its what some people call "the Game". My friend Pickle educated me about the rules of "The Game". Intriguing as it may be and indeed Pickle is quite experienced in that field, I find myself a little too old to play "The Game". No. Not too old. I just get bored very quickly. I think most blokes of my age do. Yes, I did ask like minded fellows. Its all the more sad watching ladies play "The Game". Perhaps in my yoof, I would have said differently but life is too short to piss around.

Last night in the local watering hole was not where I intended to be. Fresh out of snotville (bad cold) looking particularly dishevelled, I had no intention of "going out on the pull". Yet the powers that be said otherwise and so I was fighting them off at the gates. No. I lie. Not quite. But success was for the taking. Alas, twas a school night.

There was a lady who Recess Monkey introduced me to a while ago, a Persian princess no less. A lady with mystical talents for catching the eye of almost all the men (and some women) in the room last night. Yet somehow I couldn't help but think (and with the utmost respect) that this seemed a common occurance to the lady. I must admit, I am no picture myself but when everyone knows that he/she knows that he/she is attracting attention, it somehow seems off putting. A drunken survey confirmed that. Blokes aren't into women who think they are all that. A few mates and I stumbled into a bar full of city folk where the guys waved the readies and the girls the boobs. The girls didn't find the merchant bankers particularly attractive (probably due to the fact they were shit faced on coke and too much money) and the boys didn't find the ladies attractive due to their taste in tacky dresses and cheap champagne. I thought the days of meat markets were over. Clearly not. Indeed, our relatively working class attitude seemed more attractive than ever and some success was achieved. Then it occurred to me, this really is about attitude. One mans tart is another mans princess. Or vice versa.

To my recently made single friend. Just a word. Enjoy singledom, but be wary of players. My knee jerk reaction to becoming single was as obvious as day. Get laid, get laid, and get laid some more. Yeah cool, just make sure its with someone you can look in the eye the next day. And I know it sounds a little sappy, but there is nothing less satisfying than jumping into the sack just fresh out of a relationship. It doesn't take you anywhere. A five knuckle shuffle is cheaper, more satisfying, and less guilt ridden.

Note to the Persian beauty: The lads and I all agree that you really are.........

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