Wednesday, June 07, 2006

The Dope

Whilst enjoying a well earned break from my busy working life, I was invited along to a most interesting cafe in the east end of London. Nice place. Good food. Comfortable seats. Slightly iffy latrines (I haven't heard of anyone using that word for years so I thought I'd resurect its use hear and for the slightly less articulate amongst you, toilets). Oh and booze.

Rewind about three weeks ago. A new member of staff joined our professional team. It was my job to bring him under my wing and train him as fast as possible since the team were erm not exactly a team due to people leaving for other jobs. Ok. You get my point.

This chap who shall not be named has a unique ability to learn new skills very very fast and I must say that I am very proud of him so far for how quickly he has eased himself into the working routine...

...through out the getting to know you phase, several subtle hints were dropped into conversation about his fondness for the things that grow naturally, then dried and then smoked and visits to Amsterdam. Being an ex student myself I found this line of conversation rather interesting. So after a few beers one night it was decided that this fine gentleman would take me to a reputable establishment in the east end.

Forward about three weeks....So the day came. Like a grand adventure to this mythical (for some) place, loaded with fagerettes (term used by my mate Dave) and money off we went. It was a warm slightly overcast day but with no sign of rain. The Sun didn't seem to want to make the effort to come out that day, perhaps because it too was anticipating for what was to come. Perhaps it too knew that I'd forgotten my shades and had no protection from bright lights later that day and so kindly hid itself. Anyway. We were due to meet my new colleague's (we'll refer to my colleague as Kumar for the purpose of this story.) mate there as he was providing some of the unique ingredient that would make this day special.

....half and hour later.....armed with and beer in hand, Kumar with his trade mark can of Coke (that's Coca Cola) we sit on luxurious sofas provided by this fine establishment. We spend what seemed like hours talking about many joyous and humorous recollections of our student days, laughing out loud whilst swigging on beer and coca cola then like an apparition appears a tall dark shadow slowly walking towards us, no actually sliding towards us, as if he were on ice. His right arm lifts momentarily as he recognises Kumar. As the subtle lighting slowly reveals his face, I thought he looks like a man who's quite worldly and wise, and a man with hands that have only two purposes in life, one has some thing to do with his job and the other, to roll. Yeah...

The day although it seemed like twilight by this point, was working out well, beer in hand, Kumar rolling like tomorrow was his last day on Earth and the friendly stranger sat opposite to me talking about some of the more fascinating things in life.....Like some of his experiences with mother natures pain relief, relaxation, stress relieving produces and the many ways to apply this to ones self and Cheech and Chong scenes. At this point it would be appropriate to give this friendly chap a name. I shall call him Harrison.

It was at a certain point that the suggestion of playing pool was made. Playing pool under the influence was certainly going to be an unusual experience indeed. The journey alone to get to this place was as immense as the journey to get to the cafe. On arrival and clearly the three of us trying to behave normally (at this point the appropriate question would have been what is nortnal ?), purchased some allocated time at the pool table. Of course the establishment required a deposit for the table. The three of us line astern reached for our wallets to produce the deposit, it was I that managed this feat first. Perhaps it had something to do with gaining the attention of the extremely attractive barmaid. A hour's worth of pool then. With confidence at and all time high and the cockiness of a teenage school boy out to impress the girl (barmaid) I strode up to the pool table and certain to clean up the first game. I very nearly did except for the fact that Harrison had potted the black on his first shot. Oh well.

As this strange substence was making its effects felt, this now extremely attractive barmaid had some how become not quite so. Perhaps's its because it was the realisation that indeed what might have happened all along was that I had been staring at the poster of the pretty lady holding a bottle of beer behind the bar. Oh dear.

Pool over and there was only one thing for it. Back to the cafe which as time had past had seemed to have become all the more inviting. Having lost our original seats to a young friendly looking couple, we sought out a corner of the cafe with some rather inviting sofa's. Kumar was already at work. I with a flick of the lighter continued proceedings. The afternoon wore on and as it did, my ability to converse seemed to be at odds with the physical movements of my mouth. It was at this stage that I took a step backwards from the conversation that Kumar and Harrison were having.
Like a flash (admittedly a rather dim one), I realised what I was witnessing before my eyes. I had seen these guys somewhere before. Where ? where ? where ? rolled the question. Until it finally twigged. Harold and Kumar get the Munchies! Yes! Yes! Yes! The more I visualised the characters in the movie the more I could see the resemblence. I'm not stereotyping or anything remotely like that but true to they're ficticious counterparts, one indian and the other oriental. It couldn't have got any weirder than that.

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