Cruel Soldiers in Iraq

Three things have happened to me. First, while trying to find a suitable steak picture for the previous article, I googled for steak. One of the results that came up was a site called steakandcheese.com. I have a wonderful stilton sauce that I love with my steak and so went to it. It has nothing to do with steak and cheese at all. Secondly, as I looked on with a little curiosity, I saw an advert for internet dating and a particular lady up for a date in my location. I am an IT professional so I know how it works but in the hangover haze that I have at the moment, it freaked me out a little, even making me a little paranoid. The third thing that got me was clicking on a link on the website mentioned again out of curiosity and came across a UTUBE clip

Iraqi Children Running for Water

If you can put aside the cruel soldiers and wait for the enevitable ending....its sad and sorry at the same time........

Crazy Steak Eating American

I am by no way seriously anti-american, its just that some of the things they say and do are just a little odd. As I did more research on "beer", I came across a fellow blogger and just by chance came across one of his articles about a ten pound (weight) steak.

http://publicpolicyandkinkythoughts.blogspot.com/2006/11/on-road-with-jqp-volii.html

Ten POUNDS!! of cow flesh sitting in your gut. Can you imagine it! Most baby's born don't weight that much. Now I know where that phrase comes from:

"I love babies. But I can't eat a whole one!".

I don't think I've ever eaten ten pounds of anything. Although I might give it a go. Being a wimp of a Brit I will forego the steak. Suitable foods that I could stomach ten pounds of.....

• Spaghetti or any kind of pasta


• eggs (not raw of course)


• soup (although that would give me the sh*ts for days


• cheese


• pringles


• crisps


• beef jerky (not you Barry's Beef, although your left arm with a bit of salt and pepper...)


• prawns


• berries

I have found the answer, it would have to have a reasonably high water content to that I can urinate most of it while eating. Not at the same time of course as I would have to leave the table occassionally to visit the toilet. Berries it is. Perhaps I could do it for a good cause. A charity of some sort. If there is anyone interested in me doing this feat then drop me a line. If there is enough interest then I'll consider doing it.

My Mate's Birthday

Oh the hangover. I suppose to be expected when I go on the lash with my mate Dave. This however is all the more unique as my alchohol in take has been down to the minimal for the last week and a half. This of course is due to the fact that I've been on annual leave too. So not used to the high consumption of the toxic beverage I got plastered and left early. Luckily the cab driver knew where I was going. I'm sure my mate Dave had a good birthday. I'm not so sure how he'll perform for today's darts final.......If you're reading this Dave. DRINK LOADS OF COFFEE!!!

....oh I found this picture while looking for a suitable one for this article. Now that's my kind of beer!

Tribute to Allen Carr

Allen Carr has passed away. He died from lung cancer. Some say that he died from all the smoke congested seminars he used to conduct, others say that it was a result of heavy smoking for all those years. Rather than people look at something to blame for his death, perhaps people should rejoice at the fact that he has helped an estimated ten million people to stop smoking. Stick that up your tail pipe and smoke it Labour Government! Millions of pounds spent of advertsing campaigns has done very little to stop people smoking. Perhaps the government should have give the money to Allen Carr to set up more clinics and more support for children.

Rest in Peace Allen Carr.

Traumatic No Matter How Many Times....

I found this on UTUBE this morning. This couples account of what happened that day captures the horror and terror in a way that no other hollywood movie could. Shame on you Mr Stone.

Bob and Bri's footage of the World Trade Center.

It was a very sobering thing to watch first thing this morning. It does remind people of their own mortality. It certainly did mine this morning.

TV Programmes from my yoof

This weekend's posts very much have the focus of film and history. So I'll change the focus to television programming. Or more to the point my recollection of one's of my youth.

• Benny Hill


• Candid Camera


• Star Trek


• V


• The Invaders


• Man-imal


• Only Fools and Horses


• The Dick Emery Show


• Morcambe and Wise


• The Two Ronnies


• Some Mothers Do Ave Them


• Street Hawk


• Knight Rider


• Buck Rogers


• CHiPs


• 3-2-1


• Pot Black


• Wrestling on a Saturday afternoon


• Happy Days


• The Dukes of Hazzard


• The Sweeny


• Dallas


• Dynasty


• Miss World (when it was acceptable. Damn the P.C. brigade!!)


• Eurovision


• Ren and Stimpy


• Eurotrash


• Twin Peaks


• Beauty and the Beast (the TV show with Linda Hamilton)


• Top of the Pops


• The Gaffer


• The Professionals


• Minder


• Tales of the Unexpected


• Hammer House of Horror


• Sapphire and Steel


• Wogan


• Sale of the Century


• Bullseye


• Northern Exposure


• Tiswas


• Timmy Mallet


• Noel Edmonds Breakfast Show


• Blankety Blank


• Grange Hill


• Renta-Ghost


• Play School


• Tony Hart


• Story Time


• Night Caller


• Blue Peter


• Jim'll Fix It


• Record Breakers


• Baywatch


• Its a Knockout


• Monkey


• The Water Margin


• Metal Mickey


• Alf


• Open All Hours


• Are you Being Served?

Thats as much as I can think of.....at the moment

Some on relfection are utter crap now but others are pure genius. British programming should really inject some more of this sort of thing. Come on BBC, go back to your roots and make British telly good again.

The Consequences of History and Film making

The film Kindgom of Heaven came at a timely or un-timely period of modern times with the tension of the middle east and a certain american president uttering the word a "crusade" sparking lots of controversy. Was the film a pro-christian view of those events hundreds of years ago? No. A great film and one that clearly promoted an idea that not all things are ever one sided in history. If people were to read historical literature from both sides of the fence then things may seen a more realistic. Take for example some of the famous English conquests of the old world and if you can find equivilant literature for all of those who were conquered, the eyes of those who documented those accounts are clearly tainted with hate, anger, passion, glory, patronism etc. It is perhaps to us to formulate a more sensible conclusion to those events as we are detached from those sorrows and glories of that time. What an interesting thought it is to wonder what historians might make of the conflicts of the 20th century.

Odd and Controversial movies.

In the land of movie making there are truly some real oddities out there. I'm a fan of the strange, unusual and weird ones. Mainstream Hollywood productions share the same sort of genes with each other which make them all the more samey. Too much gloss, very little grit and frankly dishonest as they are all geared towards making profit. My list of unique filmography is as follows:

• Dune
• Society
• The Devils Rejects
• House of a 1000 Corpses
• Mullholland Drive
• Twin Peaks
• Fire Walk With Me
• Bitter Moon
• Razor Blade Smile
• Switchblade Romance
• Big Fish
• Old Boy
• Battle Royale
• Two Sisters
• Straw Dogs
• Baise Moi
• Irreverisble
• Eugenie
• Requiem for a Dream
• Romper Stomper
• Pariah
• Thirteen
• Blue Velvet
• Crash

Most of these I have either seen or are in my collection of DVD's. What drives directors to make such films? Controversy has always courted film makers the world over. The list above is a sample of films that dare to put taboo and distasteful subjects into the public domain. Whether people turn away in disgust, have a morbid fascination, voyeurism or intellectual curiosity, it still tickles a part of human nature that only the liberal minded type can only discuss.

Why am I writing about this? Because I spoke to a friend of mine about a week ago who told me something about herself and her past that suprised me. Yet she felt very happy to tell me this. I too am happy to know of this bit of her that I would personally would have kept to my self. It takes a lot of confidence to say what she said and with that I find myself one step closer as a friend to her.

As free and liberal as some mainstream attitudes of hollywood film makers think they are, I am bewildered by how most of the controversy they court is mostly for profit making rather than expanding peoples awareness of what really goes on in this world.

James Bond

The subject crops up now and again about which is the best Bond movie. I'm not going to do that, I'm going to name my top ten Bond movies.....and as much as I hate to, number one goes to.....

1. Casino Royale (the one with Daniel Craig).
2. The Living Daylights
3. The Spy who Loved Me
4. Moonraker
5. A View to a Kill
6. Goldeneye
7. The Man with the Golden Gun
8. Octopussy
9. From Russia with Love
10. The World Is Not Enough

Apart from the top three I find it difficult to put the rest in order of preference.

Imperialism

The thing with cable TV is that if you watch one channel all day long as I more or less have, you find that the daytime programming repeats itself again in the evening. I like my car shows and so I was treated to more repeats to Top Gear and Jeremy Clarkson's Motorworld....again. Most of the time I enjoy the repeats. Motorworld this afternoon was about vehicles in India....again but this time around I paid particular attention to Clarkson's interview with an ex-pat who was asked about his driving experience in India. The gentleman in question was well spoken and clearly with the attitude from a by gone era. I was a little suprised how while he commented on the general attitude of the drivers in India that he found it very difficult to say something derogatory about the native population. Now for a man who has lived most of his life there, why on earth does he still manage to differentiate himself from the people of India? Very strange. I'd think that after fifty odd years of living in one country that one would find themselves intergral with the very fabric of that society. I think he prefers to administrate some alienation with the people of India as he probably still thinks that Queen Vicky is still in power and that Mount Batten is still in his nappy's. I will point out however that the programme was made some time ago and the old git has probably died. Was he hoping for a state funeral? To think that there are some of the old crew that stubbornly hold onto that so-called romantic view of what life was like back in 1927.

Time Travelling Movies

Just as I finished my last post I realised that the majority of time travelling films have mostly been mediocre. The original time travelling movie, "The Time Machine" which won awards for its special effects, turned out to be an okay film but cut the ending short. For anyone who has read the book, you'll know what I mean. The blonde haired, blue eyed portrayal of people from the future had me in stitches. The only way that might have happened would have been if Hitler had won the war. Not only that but for those of the fairer complexion set in the film turn out to be mindless zombies anyway. Bad luck Hitler. Probably wouldn't have worked anyway eh through all that in-breeding. And another thing, with all those blonde jokes out there, how on earth would that represent the future of man kind?

The re-make of The Time Machine faired slightly better but for its reliance on Neighbours star Guy Pearce (for the acting) and perky Irish singer Samantha Mumba (for the eye candy) and a whole load of effects. I think that some one like Peter Jackson would have made a better attempt at it. Having said that; unlike the original movie, this one at least portrayed future human beings as being of a more coffee coloured complexion, which as scientific study suggests is what are future generations are more likely to look like. No more expensive fake tans or streaky suntan creams.....And people won't take offence to the phrase that "you look like one great big freckle". Boy did Hitler get it wrong.

The Terminator and the sequels. The first, brilliant, the second even better, the third frankly was a little bit pants. The charm with the first two was the concept of the first and the explanation of the first in the second. It didn't really need much more than that.

Austin Powers. Is it a time travel film or more of a comedy. More of a comedy I think so excluded from this article.

Back to the Future. The more I think about my original statement about a lack of decent Time Travelling films the more I think otherwise. For once all three films have equalled each other for comedy value and the science fiction bit. Lets hope they don't do a remake.

Planet of the Apes. The original or the newer one. It depends what generation you come from. Personally, I was a fan of neither. The very idea of apes being the dominant species and man not. Unbelievable. Even if it is on a different planet. Bullsh*t concept but carried off well, for some. Average.

A Sound of Thunder. Totally sh*t film. Time travelling tourist rubbish with the usual "what if you did something in the past to influence the future", but with dinosaurs. Its sounds good on paper but the end result is utter rubbish.

The Philadelphia Experiment. This was a cracking film for the reasons that the factual stuff behind the film was so very much more interesting. Government cover ups of an experiment to make a ship physically disappear/become invisible that went horribly wrong.

Star Trek: The Voyage Home. I'm a star trek fan to a point. Not a trekkie but someone who enjoys a good Star trek movie.This film however this not that good. I saw this film as a kid and greatly liked the idea behind the future holding the ability to travel into the past and making it look tangible. Remember I was a kid and I thought they will invent warp drives and teleporters sometime soon. The idea of the movie was to travel to 1980 something USA (why always USA?) and grab a whale and bring it back to the future present to save planet earth. I watched this film about three days ago and noted the exact point at which they decide to travel back in time in a space ship supposedly inferior to the Enterprise. Kirk, McCoy and Spock realising the gravity of the situation (the Earth is being attacked by a strange probe) and realising that the solution to the problem lies back in the twentieth century. Spock and Kirk agree to time travel. How they acheive this is a complete mystery. A little explanation would have been nice but nope. Rubbish.

Films to see soon...

On my hit list of movies to watch over the seasonal period are and what I think its all about:

Apocolypto : Written and directed by the little man from Oz who was a little upset about Jewish people not so long ago. Its about an ancient civilisation of south america and its downfall prior to the Spanish killing them by the thousands and spreading european disease unknown in that land

Pan's Labyrinth: Strange and mythical creatures and a young girl in war time Spain. The trailer looks cool so that is why I am going to see it.

The Fountain: A curious one starring ex-X men dude Hugh Jackman and Yummy mummy from the Mummy, Rachael Weisz. Time travelling extraveganza involving much fighting, depth, romance and a tree. Again the trailer is just about convincing enough to make it worthwhile watching.

By some miracle

I have spent almost all week under the influence. Of Lemsip, Beechams, Benylin and the ocassional hot tody or two with a load of casserole. I hate catching colds. It is probably the most unproductive thing that can happen to a person. Things get half done, half cooked, half cleaned, half attempted. Generally halfed. Like my half attempt with my hot date on Friday. Don't get me wrong, it went well in the end but as a consequence this cold has made its feelings perfectly clear. It has an obligation to stay with me a little longer. But I want a divorce!

My Guard Fish.

....They've grown.......and only six months ago they were just the size of a twenty pence coin...

Global Warming

When I was younger. In fact back in 1986 I seemed to remember asking myself why there was less and less snow fall every year. Iwas twelve back then. I knew something was afoot back then.

To the present day and now I ask myself another question. I woke up this morning and as usual checked the weather forecast but not to see weather it was raining or not. But how warm it would be. I know a silly thing to say, perhaps. We are at the tail end of November and enjoying extremely mild weather for this time of the year. Its about fourteen degrees celsius in London at the moment and I suspect maybe a degree higher. December is likely to mainly fall to around about seven to nine degrees and not much less. Whats more is that where traditionally one would say that winter usuallt set in around about late October, it now really kicks off at about late January. Some of the coldest temperatures we normally experience is around about at that time and persists until mid-March. Are we now seeing a seasonal shift where in a few hundred years time our summers are more likely to fall in October/November? It seems that way. I heard of a rather scary thought the other day about the magnetic poles swapping over in a short space in time. Is the seasonal change a sign of the poles about to change. It all happens relatively quickly over a period of a couple of hundred years. This could effect everything from timing devices, navigational systems, electronics, and more importantly, we'd turn into Australians!! Does that mean that we would inherit the all the Ashes wins too?

Paternal Urges

It must be my paternal instincts that are kicking in...again. As you know I have two adorable cats (I told you so) and that they provide much entertainment as much as they do company, but I seem to find myself talking to them as if they were my kids. Strange as that I don't have any human kids myself. I found myself ticking off my little girl (cat) as she stalked a sleeping Jinx. Parenthood is beconing (did I spell that correctly?)......

I wonder when that urge to start a family kicks in. Chavvy families start at about thirteen (ouch!) and further up the so called social/class ladder don't start until about forty'ish. Actually I think that is incorrect.

There are three possible acceptable points of starting a family depending on where you are on the class ladder. As I said, Chavvy types would probably start as soon as possible, cousin or otherwise. Middle class would probably be mid to late thirties or early forties. However, your common or garden upper class would be your early to mid twenties, cousin or otherwise. Argue....

Blimey! Have I identified some commonality amongst us...probably not.

Oh and for all of those that have taken offence, clearly you need to appreciate the alternative humorous standpoint in this particular entry...

Le Football.

I'm sure my fellow blogger Bazza the Beef will raise an eyebrow or three to me for paying attention to tonights footy. What a blinder of a match (or two). Who'dve (where does that damn apostophe go by the way?) thought Celtic mashing Man United???!!!??!? A demonstration of sheer footballism. A cracking non stop game of football with none of the pansy play that you'd expect from Chelski. I thought Man U had it in the bag or it looked like it for the first half. The only disappointment was that I missed Celtic's goal as I had to have a moment of solitude in the bath. Didn't see the Arsenal game though. It probably wouldn't have amounted to much more than a limp wristed effort for a cheap win. Ouch!

What I like about people....

What I like about people.

Being ill has its advantages. Its having time to think. Time for reflection. I was taking account of all the people I can remember and what kind of influence they have had in my life both good and bad. Lets start with the baddest. The baddest showed the weakness in me. That person showed me how to respect myself, inadverently. So I thank her for that. All the other people in my life have helped me to become who I am. I think that the people who surround us define who we are as much as sometimes we would or would not like to. Ever had a shit relationship? It makes a difference on your outlook on life. Don't get me wrong though. It is in no way an excuse for when things go wrong that I can say "it was his/hers fault that I am the way I am". No not at all. I doubt very much if there can ever be a definition of ones self. Perhaps a description of ones habits and personality traits but that doesn't forever make them who they are. I've realised that in each person over time that that person changes. Some people can be unwilling to accept this possibility. But believe it or not, when you look back twenty or thirty years later, you will have changed. Human nature is to change and adapt. Its about how long it takes before it does happen.

So to the good influences on my life. My family of course........and,

my last partner was the best thing that happened to me. I thank her. Retrospectively I met her after the most god awful time in my life and she showed me what it is like to be with someone who loves you and doesn't expect anything in return; people who like you for whatever the way you are. I took liberties and in the end I realised that I wasn't good enough for her. The people that I know right now are fantastic. They bring normality and sanity and much happiness to me. I hope I do the same to them too. I suppose people spend far too much time in mainstream life to forget to reflect.

I wonder how many young people look at an elderly person and for once not think "there is that dithery old person again" and think what seventy, eighty or ninety years of experience has given them? Not many I suspect. I am fascinated by the very idea of what it might be like in that many years time. Well okay when I accumulate that many years of experience. Would I be able to teach a young whipper snapper a thing or two about life? Probably not. Could I give a toss? Probably not because I might just think that the young person I see before me will be living the life that they live in now just as I did back then.

2Darts signing off for tonight.

How to Solve the Problem of Racism

I was just cruising UTube for some funny clips to brighten up my day when I came across this. The most funniest thing I have heard for a long time. Has he been locked up yet?

Counter Racism


What a weirdo.

Top Gear vs Fifth Gear

My passion is motorsport. Admittedly an armchair fan. Formula 1, TOCA, GTR, basically any kind of motorsport with four wheels is a suitable alternative to porn.

Top Gear being my favorite show of all time in this context I am some what missing it. And for out respect to Richard Hammond who had that appalling accident almost a couple of months ago, I can wait. Its good to hear that he is on the road to recovery. It takes a lot of bottle to have done what he did and lets hope he is under no pressure to come back to TV anytime soon. Get well Hamster. So to the alternative. Fifth Gear. To be honest not a patch on Top Gear. The quality of the programming is sub standard. Perhaps its because they review standard everyday cars. The kind of things that you see everyday. Top Gear on the other hand gives the audience exposure to the sort of exotic material that many can only dream of. Not only that but a chance to see how these sports cars fare on the Top Gear test track against other equally exotic cars. The presenters are second to none. The banter, the arguments and the blokey atmosphere that makes for your typical blokey conversation one would have in a pub....but without being sexist. Cars are for blokes and birds. I mean men and women and just because the presenters are all men, I don't think that women feel excluded from the entertainment offered. You only have to look at the audience to realise that despite some of the women are only there for there man, many of them do have a genuine interest in cars. With Fifth Gear, I can only think that they try too hard to appeal to both genders. To summarise, Fifth Gear is nothing but a poor imitation. Bring back Top Gear!!!! (only when the Hamster is well enough though).